The Therapeutic Value of Expressing Oneself Through Art with Guest Adam

Dirty Skittles [00:00:04]:
Who's to say?

G-Rex [00:00:06]:
Who who who's to say? Hey. But, who's gonna do the intro? You or me?

Dirty Skittles [00:00:11]:
Go for it. I think did I do last 1?

G-Rex [00:00:14]:
Well, we didn't really do 1 the last time. Okay. Well We were farting around.

Dirty Skittles [00:00:18]:
We'll go for it, dude.

G-Rex [00:00:19]:
You ready? I are you on re Wait. Wait.

Dirty Skittles [00:00:21]:
Wait. Real name. Right, Adam?

Adam [00:00:24]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Adam [00:00:25]:
Okay. Cool. All you need

Adam [00:00:27]:
dirty Skittles and G Rex.

G-Rex [00:00:29]:
Yep. You got it. Okay. You ready?

Dirty Skittles [00:00:32]:
Yep. Ready. 3, 2, 1.

G-Rex [00:00:53]:
Welcome back to another episode of shit that goes on on our heads. Today, we have an amazing guest. His name is Adam. Welcome, Adam.

Adam [00:01:00]:
Hello. Thank you. Thanks for having me.

G-Rex [00:01:03]:
So tell us a little bit about yourself.

Adam [00:01:07]:
Well, I have always, dabbled in the arts since I was a a child. I was, Into art as a kid, like drawing and wanted to be a a comic artist. Then for years, I switched over to music And writing, music and lyrics. And I more recently have, come back around to the comics outlet. So I that's that's how I'm expressing myself these days.

Dirty Skittles [00:01:35]:
What kind of stories do you tell in your comics?

Adam [00:01:39]:
Well, I have only released 1 so far. I'm working on a sequel right now. But, my first one, it's called shadows, and it is about basically, the name the name says it all. It's like a very dark, look on the world and just kind of how things are not equal.

Dirty Skittles [00:02:04]:
Oh, is there, like, so here here's where my question's coming from. All I know of comics is superheroes. Is there a superhero? Who's the main character?

Adam [00:02:15]:
So it is actually a group of superheroes, but it takes place In a post superhero future after superheroes have been, kind of imprisoned and enslaved, really. And, it's a group of rebels who are they have superpowers, but they're not, superheroes per se, and they're just trying to, you know, level things.

Dirty Skittles [00:02:43]:
Nice. Nice. You like that, G Rex?

G-Rex [00:02:46]:
I love that.

Dirty Skittles [00:02:47]:
Yeah. I can I I can picture you? Do you did you read comics growing up?

G-Rex [00:02:51]:
Oh, yeah. I did all the time. Because, you know, back in the day, they'd be like, you know, teeny tiny. Right? But we always used to read the comics and then look towards the back, and they have, like, the free ad for, like, the sea monkeys. And

Adam [00:03:10]:
I remember that.

G-Rex [00:03:11]:
You remember that? Like, they had sea monkeys and, like, magic tricks and shit like that. Right?

Adam [00:03:18]:
All things. Yeah.

G-Rex [00:03:19]:
Yeah. Go ahead and laugh at me. I am showing my age. Whatever. But, I I love comics. Like, it's a it's a way to escape. Right? It is. For sure.

Dirty Skittles [00:03:31]:
My brother was huge into them, and I remember Trying to get into them, but he was very protective of his comics. And they all had, like, their own little, like, sleeves and, like, the special box all this shit. And I was just like, I couldn't yeah. I never really got my own comics, I guess.

Adam [00:03:46]:
He was an investor. He was investing in in the price bump in the future.

Dirty Skittles [00:03:51]:
And I wish I could remember because I don't remember them being, like, Batman or Spider Man. Like, it was something else, and, like, I know he's gonna hear this and be like,

G-Rex [00:03:59]:
how could you forget? It was blah

Dirty Skittles [00:04:00]:
blah blah blah. Like, I don't know, dude. I don't know. Funny. When did you start doing that?

Adam [00:04:07]:
So the Shadow's graphic novel that I released in 2022 was actually, based on characters I created in the, Early to mid nineties when I was in elementary school. Yeah. And so it was something that I was, like, pretty, disillusioned. I was living in New York for a little bit, and I was pretty disillusioned feeling very, like, Separate from anything and kind of like revisiting some old stuff that I did. And I was like and I wasn't really feeling the music I was writing anymore, and I was feeling like, you know, an imposter almost. Like, I I like, I wasn't an authentic writer anymore. And I was like, I hate this. And so I just kinda went back to my roots, which was, you know, I wrote some stories And made drew these characters.

Adam [00:04:56]:
And like I said, I originally wanted to be a comic artist. I didn't keep up with that. So I I'm no longer a comic artist. I'm just the writer. But, I work with some great people who make really cool pictures. But these but these, these characters, yeah, I I created when I was, like, between 8 12 years old mostly.

Dirty Skittles [00:05:15]:
Wow. And was it like an escape for you?

Adam [00:05:20]:
Oh, for sure. Yeah. I mean, I in elementary and middle school, I was Getting very, very, bullied, and this was something that it was kind of helping me, just deal with That deal with just, you know, existing out in public kind

Adam [00:05:37]:
of thing.

G-Rex [00:05:37]:
Yeah. You

Adam [00:05:38]:
know? So, yeah, It was all all art, I feel like, for me at least, and I'm sure for a lot of people, is kind of, therapeutic.

Dirty Skittles [00:05:48]:
You know? Yeah. That's why I loved reading. In, like, middle school, high school, I would just go and read all kinds of stuff because it was like an escape. Absolutely. Good at telling my own stories, but I will dive into somebody else's.

Adam [00:06:03]:
That's awesome. Yeah.

Dirty Skittles [00:06:04]:
Yeah. What about you, dear ex? What was your did you read books?

G-Rex [00:06:08]:
Oh, I I read books. I read a lot of books. I I love to read. And, now I still played sports and just, you know, trying to escape what was really going on. Right? Like, there's a lot going on, like, during my childhood, and, you know, it's just a way for me to get away. Like, I didn't have to go if I was reading, I was in somebody else's world and not my own world, this one, I have to deal with the outside of it.

Adam [00:06:35]:
Absolutely.

Dirty Skittles [00:06:36]:
So you still find that therapeutic now as an adult to

Adam [00:06:40]:
I do. I do. So, the kind of main hidden character of the book I recently released, is something I created that was, like, the darkest recesses of my mind that I that I Just despair, and, a feeling of, like, helplessness. Yeah. So

Dirty Skittles [00:07:13]:
I have a weird question. Do you after you've created a piece of art, right, is it, like, a release for you, or do you go back and read it again.

Adam [00:07:23]:
I usually go back to it eventually. Never at first. I kinda, like, let it actually, usually, when I finish something because most of my projects, it seems, have I've taken anywhere between 3 6 years to do. So, like, by the time I'm done with them, I'm like, I don't wanna look at this again or hear this again. You know? Yeah. So it it takes me a little while to get back to them, but then I actually appreciate it because I'm, like, further separated from it. Mhmm. You know? It's it's always hard to release something because you never feel like you're finished.

Adam [00:07:53]:
So you're like, oh, I could do this or tweak this. Right? But, like, you just have to just let it go. You know?

Dirty Skittles [00:07:58]:
Yeah. That's crazy. I'm, like, thinking this through, and I'm like, if if you're sharing because you said, like, you went back into, like, the darkest recesses of your mind, right, to, like, create this character. Eventually, you'll release it out. But how vulnerable is that? Like, do you feel vulnerable that other people will consume that part of your brain?

Adam [00:08:21]:
Definitely. And, actually, I I I feel probably more so that way about the lyrics I used to write because it was very, like, a heart on my sleeve type thing where, like, I was the singer too. So I would be singing yeah. I would be singing these things that I wrote, and they're really personal things. And, you know, It was great when people would connect with them, but it was horrible if someone's, like like, rolling their eyes and going to get their next beer while I was playing playing my heart out.

Adam [00:08:45]:
You know? Oh, no.

Adam [00:08:52]:
You know, it's a nice deal. They leave the venue. They're like, this sucks. You know?

Adam [00:08:55]:
It's like, wait.

Dirty Skittles [00:08:59]:
Yeah. No. I would hate that. I'd be like, don't look at me. Why is everybody staring

Adam [00:09:05]:
you know, they said Kurt Cobain always, like, closed his eyes and, like, looked at the wall and stuff when he was, you know, playing, and I understand that. You're like I mean, you you you write these things and you're in the moment when you're writing them and they feel very Heavy and very real, and you're very connected to these things. And then you do put them out eventually sometimes as as art, you know, For the masses to consume and and people will connect with it, but some people won't. Some people will think it's stupid, and that's that's sometimes what hurts, but you have to kinda build up some sort of a

Adam [00:09:37]:
yeah.

Adam [00:09:38]:
A toughness to to that because people will criticize and they want.

G-Rex [00:09:41]:
So

Dirty Skittles [00:09:41]:
Yeah. But it's like a piece of you, so I get it. Right?

Adam [00:09:43]:
Like piece. Yeah.

Dirty Skittles [00:09:44]:
Yeah. That's crazy. So what has been, I guess, your biggest learning experience from from your life, like creating art based off of it or or anything that you've had to go through that you've learned from.

Adam [00:10:05]:
No life path is set in stone because kind of, I guess, going back a little bit to, I switched from drawing to music. I got a guitar when I was, like, 14 or 15 years old and decide I was really into music, like, listening to it and wanted to play it myself because everything I'm the kind of person, like, if I see something or hear something, I wanna do it myself. I'm like, I can do that. And I try to do it myself and replicate it. So at that point, I was like, I can make music. I can write something. So I wanted to and I was already doing poetry. So I'm like, I can just kinda transfer this to lyrics.

Adam [00:10:39]:
And so that's kinda what happened. And I thought like, I dropped out of college. I was in college at the time. I dropped out of college and thought that I was going to be on this life path of being like this, you know, professional musician for the rest of my life. Now if I meet somebody today, a a new person, they would never know that I had anything to do with music. Although I was in a band or bands, several bands for, like, the span of, like, 20 year 15 to 20 years, no one would ever know that. So it's like it's weird. So I think the biggest thing I've learned is, like, you know, no matter how, into something you are you know, it's good to have a backup.

Adam [00:11:26]:
It's good to you know? And it's it's never set in stone. It might change. So

Dirty Skittles [00:11:30]:
Yeah. Yeah, I I when I heard of you, for those that are listening, my husband knows you. And I remember meeting you and your sister and him telling me at the time, like, oh, yeah. He's in all these bands, and he plays this music. And so my first impression, I think when I saw it, he was like, oh, there's this music guy. And and then to find out later where we are today, right, like, writing and making comics, and I'm like, holy shit. Like, that's awesome. Right? Like, you have more than one, Avenue.

Dirty Skittles [00:12:03]:
Like, you multifaceted, which is pretty cool.

Adam [00:12:07]:
I try to be. I just I just get, like, really obsessed with things and then, like, just dive into them. So at the point at that point, it was music. And it's always been writing, I feel like, as I'm looking back at my life, not that I'm, like, A senior citizen or anything, but, like, as I look at as I look back at what I've done so far,

Adam [00:12:25]:
you

Adam [00:12:25]:
know, it's always been revolved around writing storytelling of some sort. So

G-Rex [00:12:29]:
Yeah. And and do you think your storytelling helps you deal with, like, your mental health?

Adam [00:12:34]:
And Oh, a a 100%.

G-Rex [00:12:36]:
And can give and helps you with your, like, self love and self care and and just, you know, telling your story.

Adam [00:12:44]:
Absolutely. Absolutely. And like I said, that guy, Alexander, the kinda main character of the shadows graphic novel, he

Adam [00:12:53]:
is kind

Adam [00:12:53]:
of, in many ways, me, you know, things that I've gone through, things that I've felt, and it's that his his story arc in that book is really one of, exploring mental health and being okay with who you are kind of thing and and accepting yourself and not, Demonizing yourself or hating yourself or listening to what other people are saying about you and actually having confidence in who you are.

G-Rex [00:13:23]:
Man. That's that's powerful. That's that and, you know, I think there's so many people out there that need to read graphic, you know, graphic novels like that or even books because, you know, that self talk we have in our in the back of our head

Dirty Skittles [00:13:36]:
Yeah.

G-Rex [00:13:36]:
We're just we're just mean to ourselves.

Adam [00:13:39]:
On my my on my own worst than me. I say the I say the meanest shit. I say worse stuff to me than anyone ever could or has, you know, like, so I try to work on that. You know, that's That's the thing is to to not, you know, let yourself freely bully yourself.

Dirty Skittles [00:13:55]:
Yeah. We were just talking to somebody the other day who said that they would they realized they had a lot of, negative self talk, And what they were doing was for every what did she say? For every bad thing she said about herself, she had to say was it 5? 5.

G-Rex [00:14:12]:
Yeah. 5 5 digits.

Dirty Skittles [00:14:13]:
Like, oh my God. Like, that would take me all day, like, to go through that list. And, like, that's that's telling, though. Like, I agree. I think we're all our own worst enemy, and

Adam [00:14:24]:
Yeah.

Dirty Skittles [00:14:24]:
Our expectations for ourself are so high that

Adam [00:14:29]:
yeah. And I

Dirty Skittles [00:14:29]:
don't know where it comes from. Doesn't really make sense. Right? Like, do whatever you want.

Adam [00:14:33]:
I mean, you I think that you want the best for yourself as a person, and you kinda become your own cheerleader, but also your own, like, I guess, I don't know, coach. And I always I don't know. I wasn't I wasn't super into sports, but I always like coaches are pretty hard on you.

Dirty Skittles [00:14:49]:
Yeah.

Adam [00:14:50]:
You know, but you kind of like try to try to make it, the best for yourself. But in that process, you could definitely, you hurt yourself, you know, because you want the best, but you're so focused on On, you know, improving that sometimes you're not really monitoring how you're talking to yourself or trying to improve that

Dirty Skittles [00:15:15]:
Yeah.

Adam [00:15:18]:
Counterproductive.

G-Rex [00:15:18]:
So much true to that.

Dirty Skittles [00:15:21]:
Do you ever take a look back and, like, Or maybe throughout the process of writing a song or creating a character, do you ever discover something new about yourself or, like, tap into something that you hadn't quite figured out yet?

Adam [00:15:35]:
Not really. I mean, I feel like I've always personally been very self aware.

Adam [00:15:39]:
Mhmm.

Adam [00:15:39]:
But when I do that, one of those things, I definitely Kind of swim in that feeling or thought for a little while and and kind of, soak it in. Maybe not in a good way. You know? Sometimes you know? But but but truly, I mean, even if I do, like, already know that certain thing about myself or am aware, It may, you know, shed light on something to help me improve that or change it. You know? So it yeah. That could possibly happen.

G-Rex [00:16:10]:
Very cool. I I I could see me, like, doing that. You know? Like you said, Adam, we are our own worst seventies. We are so mean to ourselves. Let me say shit to ourselves. Nobody else would ever say. They might be thinking it, but they'd never say it to to our face. Right? In the meantime, we're, like talking to ourselves.

G-Rex [00:16:28]:
Like, you're a dumb asshole. Like, you Damn. Yeah. I'm like, I I I I I've really been working on, like, not doing that. Right? Like, that negative self talk. It's great. Because it makes you feel like shit.

Adam [00:16:43]:
You

G-Rex [00:16:43]:
know, the world's already kinda making you feel shitty. You don't need to make yourself feel shitty.

Adam [00:16:48]:
Absolutely. Yeah.

Dirty Skittles [00:16:49]:
Yeah.

Adam [00:16:50]:
Yeah. The shit that goes on in our heads about ourselves. Right.

Dirty Skittles [00:16:53]:
Dude, seriously, I'm like, I'm I'm happy nobody can hear what I say to myself. Here here's what I've learned about myself. I hate failing, but you know it's inevitable. Right? Like, no one's perfect, especially if you're doing something you've never done before. Your chances of failure are high. That shit will eat at me for days. But I was just thinking, like, I wish I could have turned that into some form of art. I'm pretty sure I have, like, notebooks upstairs of, like, really bad poetry that, like, you know, in the moment, I was like, this is deep.

Dirty Skittles [00:17:24]:
And if I was to read it now, I'd be like, oh, Jesus. But,

Adam [00:17:27]:
Yeah.

Dirty Skittles [00:17:27]:
Like, how do you besides writing and and and, creating characters, is that your only outlet, or is there other things that you do to help, I guess, with those types of situations.

Adam [00:17:41]:
Well, I do I do still struggle, like, a lot with anxiety and, you know, sometimes bouts of depression and stuff. So, I do try to go to counseling as often as I can. It's it's not, like, always always, but I try to you know, I I go through periods of time where I'm I'm more more so in Counseling or not. But I, you know, I advocate for that because I think that, you know, we could all use someone to talk to who doesn't know us or, you know, could kind of, You know, objectively look at things and kind of maybe give us a different perspective. So I I try to do that. And just, you know, but, you know, speaking of music or art in general, like, you are what you consume. And I love stuff like, you know, metal and, like, heavier darker music and stuff, but I gotta tell you, like, listening to that a lot of times doesn't help the situation. Like, you know, changing what you listen to or what you're watching or what you're reading or you know, that can totally Change your outlook on things.

Adam [00:18:44]:
So

G-Rex [00:18:46]:
Mhmm. Yeah. I can totally agree. Like, if I'm in a, like, a dark place, I won't listen to dark music. I'll try and listen to, like, you know, something peppy, something to get my heart racing, or I'll go listen to a funny podcast. You know, something to to make me laugh because the healer for me is laughter. Right? If I'm laughing, I'm feeling a lot better because now my endorphins are raised a little bit. You know, I can have a clear head or I'll try and go to the gym.

G-Rex [00:19:14]:
Haven't been on a while, but I I need to go back. But, like, those are the things I do, and I'm a huge advocate for therapy. Absolutely. I I don't think I'd be where I am today without therapy.

Adam [00:19:27]:
Yeah. Super help. Yeah.

Dirty Skittles [00:19:29]:
I think once I started therapy and started kind of healing parts of myself, I noticed that it was what I was consuming. Right? Like, I could no longer watch shows that I had been watching or binge watching on Netflix. Like, I was like, like, I don't want the drama. I don't wanna hear about somebody's like like, I just I couldn't watch that anymore. And the music, same. I music will change my mood, but I think I've always used it that way. So if I'm tired, I'll put something upbeat, or if I'm, like, I'm angry or I need to get it out. I'll put something heavier.

Dirty Skittles [00:20:02]:
Right? Like so I've always kind of used it. That's, like, my biggest thing is is music for mood and, my candles. My wood my wood wick candles that you know, anything that I know I love, I'll put it on if I'm feeling shitty because it'll help. It'll help change the mood for me.

G-Rex [00:20:20]:
So does it mean, like, when I see you in a couple of weeks, you're gonna have, like, all your candles out?

Dirty Skittles [00:20:26]:
I don't think you realized the my candle obsession. I'll show you when you get here. I love I love a good candle.

G-Rex [00:20:34]:
I I'm a little scared for that. Can we not maybe have their month at the table when we do, like, the live version?

Dirty Skittles [00:20:41]:
Right. I don't wanna burn anybody. No.

G-Rex [00:20:43]:
I don't wanna Yeah.

Adam [00:20:44]:
I saw you guys are doing a live version. That's awesome.

Adam [00:20:46]:
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Dirty Skittles [00:20:48]:
We wanted to we were mindful of of, like, the listeners we have that are experience, holiday depression. And we have, I know we have people out there that are just alone during the holidays. So having the live show where they can come and chill and sit with us is kind of the vibe we're going for.

Adam [00:21:08]:
Very cool.

Dirty Skittles [00:21:09]:
Yeah.

G-Rex [00:21:10]:
We're gonna I I I'm excited for it. We're, we're flying down from New York, and I'm gonna, you know, spend some time with my aunt and uncle and see all my peeps in the Atlanta area and record and have a good time. But, like, you know, this podcast, like, has been so healing to so many people. Right? And just hearing hearing from, you know, our different listeners who that, you know, therapy is not bad. You know? It's it we need to, like, remove the stigma about going to therapy because, you know, it's actually a good thing.

Adam [00:21:45]:
It is. It's very helpful. I mean, I think every person on Earth could use it.

Dirty Skittles [00:21:51]:
Yeah.

Adam [00:21:51]:
I mean, it's it's maybe not so affordable, and that's sometimes why I have to quit. It can get kinda pricey, take breaks and stuff. But, I mean, if you can Swing it. If you can figure it out, like, it's absolutely a great tool. And and like Gerex said also, comedy. Like, I love, you know, watching stand up comedy and all sorts of I think it's it's really fun. It's it's really good to laugh. I read something, years ago, that, to, like, for mental health and trying to, change maybe, you know, your sadness, if you make yourself smile, if you, like, fake it, you can like, it eventually Reconnects your synapses to where it's easier to smile or easier to be happy, and you can kind of fake it by doing these kind of, exercises.

Adam [00:22:42]:
And I've that's always kinda stuck with me. Because inside, I'll think about that. If I get really down about things, I'll try to, you know, focus in on that and see if I can, you know, make the it it starts with little things. Right? Like, you know, because sometimes, like, when you're really upset, it's they're really sad. It's it's really hard to, like, listen to a fun pop song or you know, it's like, I don't wanna hear that shit. You know what

Adam [00:23:05]:
I mean? But Like But I mean

Dirty Skittles [00:23:06]:
Get out of here, Taylor Swift.

Adam [00:23:08]:
No. I'm just kidding. Right. I had I had

Adam [00:23:11]:
her in my mind. Yeah. Me too.

Adam [00:23:13]:
I'm a Swifty, by the way.

Adam [00:23:14]:
I am too.

Dirty Skittles [00:23:15]:
Well, sort of.

G-Rex [00:23:16]:
So am I. I'm not,

Dirty Skittles [00:23:17]:
like, deep into the the swiftiness. Like, some people are, like, hardcore. Like, she wore purple nail polish. I'm just I'm like, dude, I don't I don't know.

G-Rex [00:23:25]:
Yeah, I'm into her too, but I'm not gonna spend $400 to go see her either. So

Adam [00:23:30]:
Right. Right. Also, I'll catch it on Netflix. You know? Yeah.

Dirty Skittles [00:23:34]:
Yeah. Yeah. In the comfort of your own of your own home.

G-Rex [00:23:39]:
That's why you have Apple Music and Spotify. Right? So we can go and listen to her,

Adam [00:23:44]:
and

G-Rex [00:23:44]:
we can just imagine in our hand, we're at the concert. So, yeah, I I I think that, like, music and, like, just doing art, artsy things to help. So one one way I get out of my head is by color. Right? I I love to color. I have my iPad. I have a couple of coloring apps. I just kinda, like, can zone in on that. Not creative per se unless you you count the podcast, but,

Adam [00:24:12]:
That's creative.

G-Rex [00:24:12]:
Yeah. It it just it puts me on a different mindset, and I I think that, you know, just with you, Adam, in doing your graphic art and your music, it it puts you in a different mindset. Right? I think getting your emotions out and kinda sharing that with the world is is important too.

Dirty Skittles [00:24:32]:
Yeah.

Adam [00:24:32]:
Absolutely. Yeah. I think, to kind of, You know, expand on what you're saying is, like, getting getting back to what makes you happy no matter what it is. Just do something for yourself. Do something that makes you happy or more tranquil or just, like, kind of, like, pulls you out of that current, funk. You know? Like, even you know, another thing another great thing is just, like, getting out of, like, society and, like, enjoying nature. You know? Just enjoying, like, the simplicity and beauty of nature really helps clear someone's mind.

Dirty Skittles [00:25:08]:
Yeah. We have so many people say that, and I'm I never do that, but I'm like, there's gotta be truth to this because

Adam [00:25:16]:
Absolutely.

Dirty Skittles [00:25:16]:
Yeah. Like, I'm like, I get outside more. Like, you're really

G-Rex [00:25:20]:
There were there really is. I mean, we live on 8 acres, so I can go right outside my back door, and I can walk right into our forest.

Adam [00:25:29]:
That's awesome.

G-Rex [00:25:30]:
Just just being around that nature, like, smelling the smelling the smells or, like, in the summertime, I'll go after my bare feet, you know, and I can ground my feet in into the dirt. I'm not gonna do that in the winter because I'm gonna get frostbite.

Adam [00:25:45]:
What do you

Dirty Skittles [00:25:45]:
think it is about just being outside, though, that's so calming?

Adam [00:25:49]:
It's very zen.

G-Rex [00:25:50]:
Yeah. And, like, you know, smell just, like, smell a flower or like, I have a a nice big herb garden outside, so I thought I'd smell the rosemary and smell the mint. Yeah. Smell the basil. Walk out, like, 5 feet into my forest, and there's all these big trees, and we can see where the deer have made their path. And, like, you you get outside of were you currently already in your head?

Adam [00:26:17]:
Mhmm. Mhmm.

G-Rex [00:26:18]:
Because you it opens up a new world for you.

Adam [00:26:20]:
Yeah. Yeah. It's true. You get so stuck in your own head space.

Dirty Skittles [00:26:24]:
And

Adam [00:26:24]:
then you go out to nature and you're like, wow. All these things I'm concerned about and that are, like, weighing me down are really meaningless And the you're not meaningless, but, you know, not not so heavy in the in the grand scheme of, like, the universe, you know, and, like, just seeing, like, nature in the world, and it's like, you know, this is really, like, beautiful beautiful chaos. You know? It's just like it's random, but it's like Beautiful, and you just kind of I don't know. It just helps with perspective.

Dirty Skittles [00:26:52]:
Yeah. Yeah. I could see that. Yeah. I'm gonna try it. I

G-Rex [00:26:56]:
mean, you have you why don't you walk out to your backyard? You have your roofs there?

Dirty Skittles [00:26:59]:
Spider webs everywhere, and there are spiders everywhere. Okay. Huge. I'm not shitting you. They're fucking everywhere.

G-Rex [00:27:08]:
Okay. So put on a rain jacket. Right? It's like those big yellow rain jackets and, like, masking tape the the the cuffs, right, so nothing gets up underneath them. And just walk out there for, like, maybe 5 guests first, go to a park.

Dirty Skittles [00:27:23]:
Yeah. Or I'll do the park. I'll do the park.

G-Rex [00:27:26]:
Or go sit outside on your patio or your porch. Right?

Adam [00:27:30]:
Just Yeah.

G-Rex [00:27:30]:
Smelling that fresh air can really help clear your head.

Adam [00:27:36]:
I'm I'm picturing dirty Skittles in the backyard with, like, a hazmat suit.

Adam [00:27:40]:
Literally. Like, I was waiting for for the part where I was

Dirty Skittles [00:27:43]:
like, cool. Then I gotta take it off and, like, get hosed down before before I take off the hazmat suit. Yeah, there there's spiders. There's there's a lot of spiders. But, I mean, I do notice well, I I learned this a while back to notice when I'm happy without, like, you know, watching, like, a comedy. Right? Like, something that I'm doing in my everyday life. If it makes me happy, I stop and take note of whatever it is. And I will say when I do take a little nugget to the park, we've just found, like, this beautiful park, and I'm, like, completely at ease and at peace and super happy that I see him playing.

Dirty Skittles [00:28:21]:
I mean, it's Gorgeous weather, like you know? So I I can see how that would be helpful during, like, work hours. You know? Change of scenery.

Adam [00:28:31]:
Get out. The breeze. Just like feeling the breeze and seeing the trees

Dirty Skittles [00:28:36]:
kinda sway

Adam [00:28:37]:
and yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

G-Rex [00:28:39]:
And and for me up here, you know, we're in fall now, and the the the tree leaves are changing. Right?

Dirty Skittles [00:28:45]:
Mhmm.

G-Rex [00:28:46]:
So is even though it's super gray and gross and rainy, crap crappy outside, these little bursts of color

Adam [00:28:53]:
Yeah.

G-Rex [00:28:54]:
Like, they it it just kinda makes your heart smile. Right? Because, like, the the weather may be gray and gross, but there's still color in the world. Yeah. So if you can focus on the color in the world, even when we're going through that shit that's going on in our head, just focusing on on the colorful objects that we see in the world, like love, life, kids, family, husband, wife, all of that, girlfriend, significant other, focus on that those those happy things, and it makes the shitty stuff a little less shitty.

Adam [00:29:30]:
Yep. Like Yeah. You gotta focus on the the shit that's going on outside your head.

Adam [00:29:34]:
Right? Yeah.

Dirty Skittles [00:29:39]:
Alright. I have a couple of fun questions. G Rex, you're off the hook because you answered this in the last one. I I think we're gonna do this every episode maybe. Okay. Adam, If you could change anything about your life, what would it be?

Adam [00:29:59]:
I think I would change kind of the way I've approached life in the past. Okay. And try to approach it with more of, I guess, an open mind because I've been very I think we all we can all get very, focused, honed in on a certain feeling or a certain thing and kind of, like, miss other things around us that are right there. So I think I would approach things a little more openly for sure.

Dirty Skittles [00:30:34]:
Wow. That that is that is deep. But I I don't know what I expected you to say, but, like, wow. That's Yeah. I

Adam [00:30:45]:
I don't know what meant to me to say that. That's

Dirty Skittles [00:30:48]:
No. Like, I I think there's, Like, I have admiration for that. And it's like I'm like, wow. Yeah. Like, it would change my life as well if I was to not be so scared or Closed off to possibilities.

Adam [00:31:04]:
You know? Right.

G-Rex [00:31:05]:
I love that. Say with me. I mean, you told me I didn't have to answer it,

Adam [00:31:10]:
but but

G-Rex [00:31:10]:
I'm gonna I have a different answer than what I had in the last episode because I would change my I might have changed my career path a little bit and not gone down that technical route so much and more of, like, a a customer service y kind of route because, I really like being around people. I'm a true extrovert. So, like, when COVID kicked around, I felt like I was in here. Right? Like, I couldn't hug people. I couldn't be around people. And so it was really hard for me, but I I would do something where I could be, like, my true self. Right? Where I'm not, like, cornered into a a certain a certain type of job.

Adam [00:31:56]:
Yep. Do what you love.

Adam [00:31:58]:
Well, it's not too late, though.

Dirty Skittles [00:31:59]:
That's true.

G-Rex [00:32:01]:
Oh, I'm doing the I'm doing what I love now. So, you know, I'm just maybe 6 years

Dirty Skittles [00:32:05]:
earlier is what you're

G-Rex [00:32:06]:
I woulda started earlier. I'm 60 now, so now I'm I'm really living my true life.

Adam [00:32:13]:
That's awesome. That's great.

Dirty Skittles [00:32:15]:
Okay. Next question. If you could go back To a younger version of yourself and give that version of yourself advice, how old were you, and what would you say?

Adam [00:32:33]:
Tall man. Sorry.

Adam [00:32:36]:
There's some there's so many things I'd say young than me. Probably, I'd say the the Adam in his early to mid twenties needs to hear, stop being such a fucking asshole, dude.

Dirty Skittles [00:33:04]:
Can you imagine seeing yourself, like, future self, like, stop being an asshole. Like,

Adam [00:33:09]:
Like, like, woah. No

Adam [00:33:10]:
way. Yep.

Adam [00:33:13]:
Be all Keanu on myself.

Adam [00:33:18]:
I love that.

G-Rex [00:33:20]:
I'd be 6 I'd be 16 and be, don't take that pill.

Adam [00:33:25]:
Just don't Jesus. I'm

G-Rex [00:33:28]:
serious. Don't take that pill.

Dirty Skittles [00:33:31]:
Oh, that's great. I love this. And then the last the last question I have, what is the biggest change you've made That's made you who you are today.

Adam [00:33:53]:
I think the biggest change that I've made is I've tried to refocus my energy and my time on things, on people that really matter to me, I'm not so much worried about people who don't matter and things that are less relevant and just, you know, Focus where the love is.

G-Rex [00:34:18]:
Yeah. I love that. I love that for me, but not that drama box. If it smells like drama, it doesn't get to come into the box. I I I I said so after my my breakdown, I set up some serious boundaries. You know, being a a true empath, you know, I would take on everybody else's, issues. Now I don't do that anymore. It smells like drama.

G-Rex [00:34:43]:
You don't come in the box anymore. Just I'm taking care of me. I I am number 1.

Adam [00:34:49]:
That's a superpower.

Dirty Skittles [00:34:51]:
That

Adam [00:34:52]:
is. You've got a drama shield.

G-Rex [00:34:54]:
I I I got the drama shield. Like, I just wrap that around here. Like, it smells like drama. It doesn't get to come in today.

Dirty Skittles [00:35:02]:
It's a good super That's awesome. Good superpower.

Adam [00:35:04]:
What about what about you?

Dirty Skittles [00:35:06]:
My superpower my your answers to these questions.

G-Rex [00:35:10]:
Yeah. Yeah. You ask them. You need to answer them.

Dirty Skittles [00:35:17]:
Would I change anything? I probably am gonna steal your answer. I think if I could change the way I had approached life, I would, you know, like, explore, try new things. Like, don't be Afraid to fail at everything because I feel like that fear stopped me from other opportunities. You know? What I tell a younger version of myself, dude, I would probably go back to little dirty Skittles at age 4 Woah. Yeah. Because I the only reason I know it would be age 4 is there's this family video that fucking haunts me to this day. And I was 4 years old, and and I would probably tell myself then and there that you're stronger than what you think. Leave it there.

G-Rex [00:36:08]:
Well, I like that. I like that.

Adam [00:36:10]:
And

Dirty Skittles [00:36:10]:
then the biggest thing I've like, the biggest change that I've implemented that has drastically improved my life is Therapy for sure. If I if I could go back and do it all over again, as fucked up as I was when I started to where I am today, I would because it was so rewarding.

Adam [00:36:27]:
Very cool.

Adam [00:36:28]:
Yeah. Those are my answers.

Adam [00:36:31]:
Those are good answers. Thank you

G-Rex [00:36:32]:
thank you so much, Adam, for sharing your story and in in your life and man, you I can't I'm gonna go find your graphic novel because now I wanna read it. Yeah.

Dirty Skittles [00:36:42]:
Where can I find you?

Adam [00:36:46]:
So I do have, a website, Adam Matthew Smith.com. And the and the book is there. It's being sold on Amazon, but it's called Shadows. It's a very generic title. So and I'm Adam Matthew Smith. Those are all very generic names. So you really have To type them all in together

Adam [00:37:03]:
in order to find it.

Adam [00:37:07]:
You type any one of those words, and you will not find me ever.

Adam [00:37:19]:
I love that.

G-Rex [00:37:20]:
Oh, Adam. Adam. Adam.

Dirty Skittles [00:37:26]:
Adam. The

Adam [00:37:28]:
next book's gonna have to have a much more, intriguing title, I think. Thank you all so much for having me. I appreciate it. And and keep keep it up with the podcast. It's awesome. Thank you.

Dirty Skittles [00:37:47]:
It's okay to be not okay. Just make sure you're talking to someone.