Louis Kim on Finding Purpose After Success: Why Money Won’t Fix Your Mental Health

[00:00:02] Hey there, listeners. Welcome to Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads, our podcast where we normalize conversations around mental health. That's right. I'm Dirty Skittles and alongside my amazing co-host, G-Rex, we'll hear your stories and tips from our incredible guests. Each episode, we deep dive into struggles and triumphs of mental health, offering practical advice and heartfelt support because no one should feel alone in their journey.

[00:00:31] Join us as we break the stigma and build a community of understanding and compassion. Tune in and let's start talking about the shit that goes on in our heads. Three, two, one. Welcome back to another episode of Sht That Goes On In Our Heads. I'm here with the awesome Dirty Skittles and today we have an amazing guest, Lou. Welcome to the show. Welcome. Thank you. I'm excited.

[00:01:00] Do you prefer Louis or Lou? I'm good with either one. People that are close to me call me Lou, so you guys can go. Oh, okay. We're going to call him Lou. We got the end. We got the end of Lou. We got the end. I told you we're just in party mode, Lou. It's all good. Oh my gosh. I know. It's okay. We've had all of our meals. The G-Rex has had 14 Code Reds at this point. I'm on water, you know, and a lot of caffeine, but... Yeah.

[00:01:29] Well, you know, the human brain burns a lot in our galleries. It's the most consuming component of our physiology is our grain. So I'm sure you guys are tired. Aw. That was so nice. That was so kind of you. That was so kind. You know what? What's funny is that we... We... Is it... Pretty much. They're like these fucking bozos. What are we doing here? What are we doing? But you know what's really cool is that we both do get energized from the podcast.

[00:01:59] We learn so much from our guests that, like, by the time I'm done though, I'm like done. Yeah. So after I'm done tonight, I'm going to go find and make an egg salad sandwich and go check out in front of the TV. Oh. Oh. Well, I have a tendency to do a little bit of that as well. So I get it. I'm just shutting off the brain is the best thing that you can do. Yeah. Yeah. Which by the way, if you're vegging The Pit on HBO...

[00:02:28] Dude, what's that about? Probably the best TV show, The Wire in my opinion. So that's... Oh. You haven't watched The Pit? No. Girl, put it on the list right now. Okay. Write it down. It's T-H-E, The Pit. The Pit. Thank you for that. You're welcome. Wonderful. The healthcare professionals are saying it is the most accurate portrayal of their life, especially in the ER.

[00:02:55] And conceptually, it's every episode in a day of a shift. So season one, it was just one day. Season two is another day further down the calendar lines. That's the whole concept. So it's good. It's just like everything that you want from a television show. It's deep. It's got funny moments. It's just... It's well-written. Great acting from a lot of unknown actors. It's so good. Yeah. Okay. All right. It's beautiful. On your list. Two seasons. Yeah.

[00:03:25] Two seasons. Got it. Two seasons. And like, you can binge it. My wife and I, we binged season one. Dude, we didn't go to bed until two o'clock in the morning. Because like you get sucked in. And like you want to see. Yeah. Season two is equally as good. And see, we taught you something new. You get to go watch a new show. Listen. And veg, it sounds like. So we are good. And veg. We are so good on the vegging part. But I met Lewis.

[00:03:56] Hey. Man. It's been a while. Because. Yes. Over six months ago, we met on Podmatch. And just really hit it off. And I was so excited for you to meet him. Dirty Skittles. He's just got such a great journey. Okay. And it'll be so great for our listeners. Okay, cool. Where do we get started, Luke? Well, how far do you want to get back? You know, you asked me that question. I'm actually going to answer. I would say. When your life.

[00:04:25] Started to have meaning. Meaning. So. When something switched where you were like. I need to do something. So. The beauty of that question. Is that if you ask the younger version of myself. It would tell you that it didn't happen until middle age. But the more conscious. Awakened version of myself. So that every moment of my life. Had meaning. And it helped me become who I am. And it's.

[00:04:55] I've been using this phrase. The midlife. Discovery. Because. It's not a crisis. But. You know, I grew up. With the typical like immigrant. Parents. Like they came here with nothing. They were small. But those owners. They built businesses. And it was like. They bought the worst house. In the best neighborhood. They could have. Because of the spray. But they were never around. Because they were always working. So we grew up in a very sort of middle class environment. And then we would go kind of visit where their businesses were. And it was not in the nicest part of town.

[00:05:25] So you evolve. And so I kind of lived. In these two different worlds. On all these different levels. So it was like. On one side. So economically. I was growing up in a. Very middle class area. Well my parents environment was very sort of. It was a much poorer. Community like. Of. Welfare recipients. Like. Hard times. Right? At the same time. I'm also. I'm very American. Born in the United States. My parents are very Korean. So within my own family. There was kind of like that. Split of. I'm not Korean enough for my parents.

[00:05:54] And I'm not American enough for the rest of society. But. All of that being said. The evolution of. My life has always been. It's like. You go. You strive for certain things. And then you reach them. At a certain point. You realize. That really doesn't matter. That much. Like. It doesn't matter. Because it wasn't purposeful. Right? And so. I. For myself. In my mid. Early to mid thirties. I had a very successful business. Sold it. And then went through this.

[00:06:25] Decade. Journey of discovery. Because I was so unhappy. And it was. You know. And it was this thing of. I wasn't happy. Because. I was constantly seeking. External. Exogenous things. To make me happy. Right? We are so conditioned. From the time that we're young. Hey. It's the candy bar. Right? Or it's the toy. Or it's the video game. Or it's like the. Add on suit. In. You know. Whatever video game thing is there. That you're going to get. That's going to make you happy. Right? Because it's like.

[00:06:55] There's a sense of significance with it. None of it matters. Right? Because I mean. I think we all know here. That comes from within. Right? That sense of like. Fulfillment. Who I am. Getting there. And so. It's been. You know. Been about. Really going to this deep discovery. And so to. Long about way. Answer that question. I would say. Everything's been meaning. But finding. Purpose. About what my life means. And what I'm doing.

[00:07:25] That has really come together. Through this path of discovery. A lot of letting go. Which opens the door. For a lot of new things. To come in. And so it's been within the last. Few years. Where I finally. Had realized. Look. I'm going to take a path. I don't care what it means. Anywhere else. Other than that. It's meaningful to me. And I think it matters. And that. One of the things I. Try for. Is to be. A heart-centered leader. To be a conscious. Leader. About how we. Because the field that I'm in.

[00:07:55] How I go about doing business. And how I. How I keep for myself. Because it really matters. In the grand scheme of things. About. The impact. That we have. I loved it. I loved it. I was leaning in. I was into it. I am curious. What was like. The first step. That you took. Into your self discovery. Yeah. We're. It's such a great question. Because it's never just one thing. Right. It's always. It's the gingerbread band. Right. It's like bits and pieces.

[00:08:23] And sometimes we choose to hear. Talk to you. And we ignore it. And. Really. I would say. You know. I. In my life. I have attempted suicide. Three separate times. And. In this place of that. It's kind of like. We get so conflicted. With where we are. You know. That we just. Like our existence. How we live. It's just not. We just can't do it anymore. Right. We want something else. But we're stuck. And we just can't get to where we are.

[00:08:53] Or where we want to be. And so. A lot of it for me started. In moments like there. In the lowest points. Where like. You just get so tired. Of being where they are. And you start to. To go out. The real discovery. Happened after. Because. The year before selling visits. My. Wife and I. We're traveling. We're going to Michelin restaurants. We're doing all kinds of cool stuff. Everything on the surface. You would have just thought. Awesome life. But inside. I was invisible.

[00:09:23] I was so. So unhappy. I was. Really unhappy. And. Can you describe it. And. You know. At the time. We weren't married. But she had no. Understanding. Of how unhappy I was. On the surface. Was there. But when all of that. Breaks down. And then you have. Everything you're supposed to have. To be happy. And you're not. You have no choice. Of looking in the mirror. And say. What's going on? And so that's probably really. The deepest moment. Where. You know. You think you've got it. And so that me.

[00:09:52] So I say this all the time. To people who are like. Well. If I just had this. It's not how it works. Yeah. It works. Because I promise you. When you get it. You'll still be. Just. Yeah. And who's to say. When you get it. You'll know that you got it. Oh. If I just. Did this thing. Or if I just got that. Like. Achievement. Or whatever it is. And then I oftentimes. Find myself. In that moment. And then. Like. Yeah. It goes past. And then I'm like. Oh shit.

[00:10:22] Like. I had it once. But. Didn't know it in the moment. Yeah. So. Well. And think about it. Think about everything that led up to the moment. Mm-hmm. It's like. There's more of that. Than there is the moment itself. Yeah. Right. It's why you can't miss it. And. That has been. Probably the greatest. Gift to me. Is learning. Gratitude. And really embracing. Moments. Because. You know. This is a parapher.

[00:10:52] I really have to butcher all the time. But. When I read it. I felt like I got hit in the face. With a shovel. Was just this idea that. We as people. We don't. Get to possess anything. Right. Like when we die. It all goes away. And all we have. Is this moment. Right. It's like this time. That I'm sharing with you all. Like. Two. Three minutes of like. The intro. It's gone. Right. That time. It's fast. And so. I. Embracing.

[00:11:22] The moment. And the gratitude. Has taught me to finally appreciate. And love. Journey. And it makes me want to vomit. A little inside. Saying the word. The journey. Because it's so. Overused. But like. It's true. It's like. I finally have gotten that place. And I think that's where. A lot of the true joy has come. Is understanding that like. We're all in a process. Right. Yeah. Like it never ends. And it's never finished. Until the lights go off.

[00:11:51] And so let's just enjoy. You know. Where that is. And I think that all really began. When the darkest moment. Is. Comes. Because you think. You have everything that you're supposed to have. And then. You're not happy. You're not happy. You're not happy. You're not happy. It's like. I thought I had it all. And like. This is stupid. No. I don't have it all. Which. Which. Yeah. I think that's why I want to ask you. It's like. The younger version of yourself.

[00:12:22] Compared to who you are today. What sort of things did you find value in. When you were young. And what sort of things do you find valuable now? I think the younger version of myself was. Is. There's a lot of carried right. There's a lot of things like. I think my empathy for others has always been the same. Compassion. Always been the same. Like the sense of justice. Like. Wanting things to be right for everyone. And fair. Like those are things that. They've always existed.

[00:12:51] I think the biggest difference is what. In terms of the younger and the older version is like. The value. What I value is. Is. Experiences. Time with people. And. You know. Learning new things. As opposed to like. Actually possessing things. You know. I think I was so. Oriented. Because I was so. Hollow is not the right word. And empty is not the right word. But. I guess shallow might be it. In comparison.

[00:13:21] But I thought the whole world was. You know. Fancy houses. Big car. You know. Nice fancy cars. Like all the big cool stuff. Because. That's what your soul. And so when you don't have those things. And then. You know. You're like. Okay. I'm not worthy. And then. When you get those things. If that's how you think. Then you really start to. You develop an ego. And start to look at people who don't have those things. And be like. You're not. On my level. What does that even mean?

[00:14:02] And so today. I would much rather. Sit in a coffee shop. With some new people. I'll give you a prime example. I was. I was in Nashville recently. For work. And. I mean. What took me to Nashville too. Is like. The younger version of myself. Would have never taken me there. Like. It would be like. Oh my God. That's so dumb. Why would you be there? Right? Because it's like. It's intuition versus logic. Right? And so. But I went to this restaurant. It's called Monell's.

[00:14:31] And. It's. It's a southern restaurant. It's been around since the 90s. And. Someone just told me that. They got great. It's like. So I went. And I went with a couple people. That I just met. At this thing that I was at. And. We had no idea how this place works. And the guys at the front. I was like. How many? Three. Okay. I don't. They're like. Not asking me anything else. And then there's like a giant dining table. And they sit you down. With strangers. Okay? Complete strangers. And so it's.

[00:15:00] It's a table of 12 people. Complete strangers. So like. You know. Based on the size of the party. You could 12 people. You obviously fill it. But. So there's a table of people that. You sit. And then it's family style. So it's one set price. Eat as much as you want. And it's all of the great. Southern. You know. Just make you fat. Yeah. Fried chicken at every meal. So at Brether. They serve eggs. And biscuit.

[00:15:30] And fried chicken. Yum. But. It was such a beautiful experience. Because what started in the beginning. You're uncomfortable. You know. These people that are together. They aren't really talking. And food comes through. And everyone starts appreciating the food. Right? And then. This is the other beauty of this place. You have to pass the plates. Oh. Right? So because it's a family dining table. Right? The customers say. Hey. Can you pass this? And you pass it around.

[00:16:00] Clockwise. And so. By doing that. What do you do? You naturally. Create connections. Between groups of people. Because I am passing the beauty of sustenance. Right? And then you start talking about the food. And then you start talking to each other. And then the next thing you know. This random group of people. Is all communicating. Like their family. Like. We just sat down to a dinner. And it was such a beautiful experience. Because it was like. I didn't know this. But. Apparently in Nashville.

[00:16:30] If you're not born and raised. Because of all the people that moved there. From the west. And from the north. They don't consider you a local. You could be there 20 years. But if you're not born there. You're not considered a local. Right? And that's where those nuances of a city were. I would have never known that. Yeah. I'm talking to this couple. Hey. Are you all local? Like no. And. To top it all off. This one side of the table. They were selling someone. Celebrating someone's 50th birthday. And one of the diners.

[00:17:00] That was with them. Paid. For the dinner. For everybody. Wow. Wow. So. That. To me. Is so much more important. Because that I get to keep. Right? That's a memory I get to keep. I get to share it with you. And look how entertained. And excited about the prospect of people. Right? That's precious. Listen. You don't need five extra Rolex watches. Right? What does that mean?

[00:17:29] And it's like going to the world. Spread joy. And look. I loved it so much. My flight was the next day. I went back for breakfast. Because I was like. I gotta see fried chicken at breakfast. So. So I got it. And then of course. And then I paid. For everybody else. That I'm gonna pay this order. And then the same thing happened. It's a completely different group of people. It's so cool. Same sort of like. Made basic matching. So that's what I really value. That's so cool. That is the coolest thing. So.

[00:17:59] Lou. I have a question. Are you. Are you more of an extrovert. Or an introvert. Because I think. For somebody like me. Like. I would be all over that. Like. You'd all be friends. By the time. You'd never leave. You'd never leave. Everybody be friends. We would be. Like. Just chatting. But if my wife was there. And she's a true extrovert. Or introvert. She'd be like. I'm just gonna eat my breakfast. I don't want to talk to anybody. And that's just kind of.

[00:18:28] What her personality is. Until she start. Gets to know people. So. Um. As a kid. I think I was more. Introverted. As an adult. I understand now. That there was a lot of. Noise and chaos. In my childhood. Because of my parents. Their life. Their businesses. And I think. A lot of the externality. Kind of took me inward. But as I've gotten. Older. I think I'm more extroverted. I think there's. There's some new. Thing that people want to. Claim. Which is like.

[00:18:58] Both introverted and extroverted. That I saw on Instagram. Where it's like. You're a little bit of both. Like you like. And get energized. By the ex. You know. Interacting with people. But you have to have your battery. Recharged too. That's probably more of me. So like. I can definitely go out. Interact. And love. And do all this stuff. But. There are definitely moments where. I'm done. You're like. I can binge with the. Boom. I am in the pit now. Yeah. No. I can relate to that. I think. Yeah.

[00:19:28] I can relate. I can definitely put it on. I could be like. The life of the party. Man. That battery depletes. And I'm like. Don't talk to me. Forget I exist. Let me just zone out on something. Yeah. And be completely alone. Yeah. Yeah. Well they do say. Flight. It's. The plane's going down. And the oxygen mask is down. Yes. It's like. You get a child. Take care of yourself first. So. Exactly. I think. I think. That's super important that I don't know enough people do these days.

[00:19:58] They say they do, but I think they truly do it themselves is like that recharge. Right. It's like. Taking a step back and doing everything. For me and not as selfish. This is what I need to feel. Completely myself. Right. It's such a great conversation to, you know, just talking about community and memories. Right. And. Not the physical things. Mm hmm. Not the tangible things. Right. Like. Community and making those memories. That's really important. I mean.

[00:20:27] My wife and I do that too. Like. I am more about making memories now. Than I am about. Like the physical stuff. Shiny new watch or a shiny new car. Mm hmm. Shiny new computer. Only reason I get a computer is because I need it for my business. But. I'm all about making memories. And so over the summer. We. Would. I live in upstate New York. And so we would take little day trips.

[00:20:56] Within an hour and a half of the house. Just to go. And. And see the area. We've only lived up here about five and a half years. And like the first two years were COVID. So we couldn't really do shit. But. I mean this summer we went to Rochester. We went to the Eastman Museum. We went to Cooperstown. And a funny story about the Cooperstown trip. Because. We drove over there. In the middle of a natural disaster. We had no idea that it was happening.

[00:21:27] Okay. What was happening? Halfway there. We lost cell service. But we were getting like these alerts on our phone. But nobody could tell us where it was. And we were driving right through it. It was in Norwich. It was in Norwich, New York. New York. They had a massive. And a rainstorm. And the river. Came up over the banks. And took out some bridges and shit. We didn't find out what the hell was going on. Until we got to Cooperstown. So. You know what? We laugh about it. That was a core memory for it. Right?

[00:21:57] Like it was. Maybe a little dangerous. You know. Maybe should have turned around and went home. But we didn't think about that. Because I wanted to go to Cooperstown. Don't forget it. You'll never forget it. And that is a shared experience that the two of you all have. You know. 20 years from now. You know. As like. Walking very difficultly. You know. That's a moment. You will laugh. And you will feel all of that again. That's. I think that's. One of the most beautiful things about just being human. Right?

[00:22:27] Being able to tap into. Those emotions through our memories. Right? Like. It can be very tragic when we hold on to things that are painful. And we don't want to let them go. But when we have these moments of joy. It's like amazing things that you just shared. Like. Yeah. It could be next weekend. Right? And you get caught in a rainstorm somewhere. Right? And you're like. Remember. Yeah. Because now I like to make sure that the creek's not. The river's not coming up. Oh my God. The banks. But you know. What's funny about that is. Like.

[00:22:55] We had to figure out a different way of coming home too. Right? Oh yeah. Because they shut down the. They shut down the entire county. Yeah. And so it was. You know. Me and my wife. And our friend Honey Badger. And her grandson. We're all in the car. And we're all singing. And doing things. And you know. We finally get to Cooperstown. And we're like. What the fuck just happened? And like. All of a sudden. Like. Our phones are blowing up. It's like. Natural disaster. No. Listen. Nobody died.

[00:23:24] We're good. Nobody died. But making those core memories. Just. Not just for me. But you know. For my wife also. It was the coolest thing. And. Over the winter. We. We didn't really get to do a lot of stuff. It was. For real winter here. In upstate New York. But I'm counting down the days to spring. Because there's other little trips that we want to take. And. Yeah. I'm finding as I get older. It's not about the things that I own.

[00:23:55] It's about the things I get to do. Yeah. Why I'm still alive and can do it. And I think that. People. Like. To your point Lewis. Is that people need to get out of their own head. It's not about. What you have. And what you own. It's about what you do with your free time. What you do. To make. A new core memory. Because. On your hardest days. Mm-hmm. Those memories and that joy. Are the things that you want to have triggered. You don't want to have. Yeah.

[00:24:25] Yeah. There's a gentleman that was in my sphere. I don't use the word friend. Only because we didn't get enough time. We didn't get enough time together. To really be. Considered friends. But he was. He had ALS. And. I learned a lot. About ALS. Through him. Through the process of going through. Like the way. Your body deteriorates. And apparently there's no. Linear formula. For the individual. That the. The parts of their body. That they can no longer use.

[00:24:54] Every person is different. So there's no path. Right? So when someone can no longer feed themselves. Could be the first thing that goes. Right? Or they can't swallow these things that happen. And so. Towards the end of his life. He was in. He had our. All of our bodies. Like all of our bodies. He was constantly in pain. And. He. He was sharing with me about. This process of losing. His ability to do things. Right? You know. Speaking. Breathing. All of these things.

[00:25:23] And I asked him how he gets through that. And he said. That you know. When. You find. A moment of joy. You run to it. With everything that you have. And so. I. I got really emotional. He was explaining this. It was like. Somebody in a. Very expensive wheelchair. Because. The kind that. Doesn't get pushed. Like motorized. And. You know. On a respirator. Who's here. And seeing this. Very slowly. Can tell me.

[00:25:52] They can find moments of joy. Yeah. Throughout their life. Throughout the moments of their life. To run towards. That tells me. You know. I. I can do it. I can 100% do it. Right? If you can. And just the idea that you run. Yeah. Right? So it's there. You're so right. About those memories. Because those are the things. That. We get to relive. And they give us those things. But it's also like. Making sure we see it. Because that whole experience too. In the moment. It's like.

[00:26:22] You either go with it. Or you're going to be miserable. Right. That could have been the whole. Yeah. That would have been me. In the car. I'm like. What's going on guys? Yeah. I would have. I would have given you a gummy. Fair. Fair. It was funny though. My wife was like. If the water is coming up over the road. What do we do? I'm like. We turn the fuck around. That's what we do. Okay. But the. At that time. It was just. It was like. Right next to the road.

[00:26:52] And I knew that. We were going to. We were only going to be on the road. Like another 20 minutes. And we happened to be going up. Which was good. Because. It was. It was down in the valley. That it was. Really bad. But. You know. Luke. One of the other things that. Like. I tell. A lot. Of the younger generation. You know. When they're out there. Searching for jobs. I'm like. Don't chase the money. Don't chase the dream. Chase joy. Because at the end of the day. That's what's going to keep you going. So. Even if you have. This.

[00:27:22] Dream job. And you're making. Dream money. Okay. Listen. That shit can all go away. In a second. But joy. Stays with you forever. And making it intentional. Yeah. Right. Like. Yeah. I learned something from dirty skittles. That's called our. Like. My joy. On my phone. I call it. Joy. And it's all like videos. And pictures. That bring me joy. So when I'm having a bad day. I go back to my joyful. Yeah.

[00:27:52] Guys. You know. I think that. People. Stealing it. You're welcome. It's a stealable idea. And it's. And what it does is. It helps you kind of reframe the situation that you're in. Right. Because. The same thing happens for me in the mornings. In the mornings. I watch. 20 minutes of really fucked up. Raccoon videos. And then I kind of feel bad for laughing afterwards. Because they've just destroyed somebody's property. But in that 20 minutes.

[00:28:20] I kind of got my quarters all out. Like. I've had a good laugh. You know. And then I have a gratitude practice that I do after that. And. I talk about the things that I'm grateful for that day. So you know. Gratitude and joy. Be grateful for the things you have in this life. Yeah. And don't look at the have nots. Look at the haves. What do you have? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My mom is in her 80s now. She's 84. Probably since. You know.

[00:28:49] I've had older sister and older brother. Probably since our entire lives. Trying to explain. You know. Spectre attitude. And this is a. My mom was always a boss. Like. My dad is one of the artists. Right. And so. I don't know if this is going to resonate with people. But they owned a. Really. Cheek. Motel. It was a great piece of real estate. That when they sold. It helped their retirement. But it was the kind of place that you rented by the hour. So. Dad. Used to iron. Blinds. Right.

[00:29:18] Because he wanted them perfectly straight. And we're like. Like dad. They paid $35 for an hour. You don't have to do that. Like typical. Artist. Perfectionist. Engineer. Right. Like. Get it done. You know. She's. She's like a dinosaur. In a china shop. Right. She comes in. It's like. I'm going to get this. Right. So. She would be entrepreneur. She'd be the kind of person. Who'd see a business. And. Not even think about it. It's not a contract.

[00:29:48] Right. But she. She is. Has an amazing. Threshold. Of pain. Like work ethic. All of that there. And. But she always would tell us. Gratitude. She would say. Gratitude. Is the medicine. And she would say it. All the time. She's. I don't care what's happening. Gratitude. It just. She's. It comes out of. You know. She'll be like. She'll be like. I'm thankful that my kids are healthy. I'm thankful for this. Of course. You know.

[00:30:18] When you're in every mom. And you're a teenager. You know what you're talking about. Don't be lame. You know. I. I rediscovered. You know. In. This midlife discovery. But how important that is. Because. I was. I'm a big chunk of. Happy. With everything that I had. Gotten to. And I had in my life. Because I didn't appreciate. Right. I didn't appreciate. Not even just the things. But the people.

[00:30:47] That I had brought into my sphere. From the work. Right. And I didn't understand. How important that was. Until a few years later. That a lot of those people. Left my life. Because I was. In like this. Sort of self-destructive path. Of trying to figure out. Why. Going through that. So. Yeah. Gratitude is like. You know. You can't be. Angry. And you can't be. Sad. You can't be any of those. Like negative emotions. When you're feeling gratitude. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. That's. My working.

[00:31:16] Goal for this year. Is to be more grateful. For the things that I. Get to experience. Or have. Or be a part of. And it's been. I mean. It's been working. So far. You know. And that Joy album. That G-Rex is referring to. For sure. Is. For me. Although I would say. I don't necessarily. Revisit it often. I think for me. What it did was. It was like. A reality check. Where I could be doing anything. But something that I saw. Would make me happy. Whether it was like.

[00:31:46] The first picture I ever took. Was my morning cup of coffee. Just because the way the foam. And I just. In that moment. Realized like. Oh. This makes me happy. Took a picture. And then. You know. Fast forward. Through the album. There's spilled paint. That was like. These bright colors. All over the road. It didn't matter. That people were driving through it. And like. Tracking paint everywhere. There was something beautiful. About that. That. And it forces you to sort of. Check in with yourself. And. You learn to spot the happy. Those are beautiful. Like. I'm sitting here going.

[00:32:16] Why isn't she grateful. For the fact that. You have that. That's. Like. Seriously. Someone else could have been like. Who left this message. Running through this paint. Yeah. It's all over my white car. That was beautiful. I was like. Yeah. These pretty colors. But. Yeah. It. I love stuff like that though. Because it is not. Like. I don't have to spend money on it. You know. Get it for free. And like. I tell everybody.

[00:32:45] Money can't buy everything. It can't. It's. Getting in your. Walking out to your car. And. In my case. I walk out to my car. And there's a deer. Five feet. From me. Or. It's. The raccoons. Stealing the food bowl. From. Like. Outside the back door. Which was. Hysterical. And I. Rewatched that video. Like. Seven times. Because. It's right here. At my house. Or. The skunk. That was taking the meal worm. For a ride.

[00:33:15] It was like. Literally. Dragging the bowl. I. I think that more people. Need to look at. Gratitude. Yeah. And. Think about the materialistic things. Because. Yeah. They may bring you joy. But does it bring you back. A core memory. Does it bring you back. Does it remind you of something. In your childhood. I mean. The. Our little adventures. This summer. Yeah. It reminded me. A lot. Of my childhood. It reminded me. Of my dad. My dad.

[00:33:45] Shoving us into the Ford Falcon station wagon. And being like. Okay. We're all going out. To a ghost town. And you know. It's me and my. Two brothers. And my sister. And you know. My dad and mom. Like chain smoking like a bitch. In the front seat. I'm surprised. None of us have like lung cancer. Other. But. Those core memories. Of sitting in the car. And. Going to new places. And. Now. Learning to appreciate. What they were trying to do.

[00:34:15] I mean. It took a long time. I'm 62 years old. It took me a long time. To put those two together. But the more we do things like that. The more it brings out. Like. My inner child. Or my inner joy. And. I wish that more people would look at life. That way. Because joy gets you through some really hard shit. I think we're. I think. Part of the reason. That. This podcast is doing so well. Is that.

[00:34:44] There's an awakening. Happening. Right. We're about 30 years. 40 years. Into. A dream that was sold. To multiple generations. That was predicated on. Owning stuff. And this. And this. It's a very linear thing. Well the world changed. Happily. During that time. And. I think there's a lot of people. That. Achieved a lot of those things. And realize. I'm still not happy. Mm-hmm.

[00:35:13] And it's because they're so focused on these. Targets. And yes. Like money is. It is a resource that we all need to live. But no money is never gonna. Bring you happy. Right. Like that never. I mean. Trust me. I know. I mean. The field of work. I'm in. If you are. A miserable human being. Without money. With money. You are going to be the Godzilla. Of miserable human beings. It's just the way it is. Right.

[00:35:43] And if you're someone who is constantly like. Making food for other people. Giving things away. Right. Without money. When you're wealthy. You're going to give your all your money away. Because it's just. It's part of your nature. So it's become the person for. Be the happy person for. And not focus on this idea of wealth that we've been sold. This is the way. Like this. I think. Um. Nobody's talked about this before. Because in previous generations. We were so. Like. Focused on. Get to the thing. Get there.

[00:36:13] This is where it is. And we're finally at a point where. We can question. And say. Well is that what we really. Should be pursuing. And I don't think it is. I mean. I think. The great tragedy. That exists right now. Is that. Like. Everybody. Is innately born. Of a gift. Right. Whatever that gift is. You know. And it doesn't mean. You're going to go create. Some new AI thing. That solves all the world's problems. But like. It could be. Greatest. Barista. Right. The greatest.

[00:36:42] High maker. Whatever it is. We all have something intuitively within us. And I think the noise. Of modern world. Of the modern world. Makes it very hard for us. To hear that voice within ourselves. And it's really our duty. To filter that out. That allows us to come out. Because. Whoever. Is listening. Like. The gift that's within you. The world. Deserves it. And you deserve to share. Right. And in fact. If you don't do it. You aren't doing your duty. To humanity. Right.

[00:37:12] As cheesy as it might sound. It's the truth. Like. We all have it. Within us. And I think. We're. Closer. To approaching that mindset of a. We have more to offer. Let's look at these other things. And. Let's not just focus on. The material. The. This path that was sold. Of the. Yeah. Do you think that you would have. Gotten to this mindset of where you are now. Had you not. Had all the things that you were. Reaching for.

[00:37:41] Thought would bring you that joy. Or that happiness. Or that fulfillment. This is. Such a great question. Because I literally did this mind. This like thought experience. So you're prepped. A couple. It just. It just. It just. It. What would my life trajectory have been. Had I not sold a business. Had I stayed there. And who would I have become. And I think a lot of. The good parts of me. Would have been there. But I think that would have been a giant. Like a giant. Like ego. And my. Brilliance. Right.

[00:38:10] I'm the greatest. Because I'm this. Right. Because I have these things. Would have come out. And I think what have ended up happening. Because this is another thing. Is whether or not your. Or spiritual. I do believe there's more out there. In the universe. Right. There is a higher power. Call it the great energy. But we are all connected. Because I can't. The universality of certain things. Like we're all interconnected. Right. And I think. That intelligence. Would have probably brought me.

[00:38:39] Some kind of pain in my life. To teach me. And it would have been later in life. So. I think in a roundabout way. I would have. And what I thought. Was a painful path. Was probably the easier. Right. Because when you have a giant ego. Right. You don't listen. So. The left. At the take. When you have a giant ego. You got to have a really. Big fall. To be. To be taught humility. And I think it came up. Early enough for me. That I learned it. But. I also believe that. Wherever we are.

[00:39:08] It's where we're supposed to be. So. Here I am. But I do think that. If I made different choices. Financially. Things probably would be. Much. Better. But I think. I would have been. Set up for a major fall. That I didn't even know was coming. Because I wouldn't have had the awareness. Right. The ego would have been. In the way. Yeah. You know. I don't see. I don't see shit past me. Okay. Listen.

[00:39:38] Like you're suffering. I don't care. But I'm not that type of person. But I will say. That. I. After. My suicide attempt. I became a lot more grateful. For the things I had in my life. I had. That fortitude. To call 988. I had that fortitude. To share. With people that had. No. Fucking clue. What was going on. Because you know what. As an extrovert. We didn't share. You know. Sharing was not caring. Okay. But.

[00:40:08] It also. Helped me to find my joy. Mm hmm. And it helped me to. Make better decisions. About. What I want to do. With my life. And what I don't want to do. And setting up those. Good boundaries. And. Reminding people. Of what. We should be joyful for. Because right now. I'm going to say. The last two years. Have been shit. Mm hmm. For a good portion of the United States. And if people can focus on. That one little thing.

[00:40:38] That brings them joy. Even if they start their day with. That's going to kind of help them. Get through some of the bad shit. That may or may not happen. Throughout the day. Mm hmm. And then the other thing is. Put in your phone. And quit. Team scrolling. I. You had mentioned the joy. That folder. I was like. I. The reason I'm stealing it. Is because. Dude. We. Don't stand a chance. To the technology. That's in these phones. Right. You know. Literal PhD. Doctor.

[00:41:08] You know. People. Teens of them. Are writing. And. Telling them. How to write. So that we become more addicted. To these phones. Right. And they're not making us happy. Right. That's the last thing. They want us fearful. And they want us compliant. So that we'll buy. Whatever they put it from. Yeah. That's just not happening. And. Yeah. It's not gonna. I say it's not gonna work. Who fucking knows. But. I mean. It wouldn't work for me. That's what I would say. Like. I'm finding.

[00:41:37] Joy in things that. I don't have to pay for. That. That are not. A part of. You know. Social media. You're consciously having to make those steps. Right. To do that. And I think that's where. I think people are doing that. Which is why I think people are. Awakening. To. The fact that there's. So much more. That I've closed my eyes off. Because it's this. Because what I'm. You know. Stuck in this cycle of things. Right. And that awareness. I think it's the only thing.

[00:42:07] That's really. Gonna save us. Right. It's that we're all. Gonna find. And realize. That there's more to life. Yeah. And when. We feel that. We'll find the joy. Start to appreciate. What's around us. And then. Start. Clean. This. This. Future. In this place. That I think. That we're capable of doing. Okay.

[00:42:38] We've got two questions for you. If you can go back to a younger version of yourself. And give that younger version some advice. What would you tell yourself? And how old are you? I would probably go back to the 16 year old. Version of myself. In high school. Because that was like. So I've always had challenges with my weight. And it was a point in my life where I'd lost a lot of weight. And. So this is that thing where like. Sometimes when you think you have a problem. You think the problem. Once you solve the problem.

[00:43:08] That everything gets solved. As opposed to. No, no. You figured out one thing. So I was doing well in school. And it was a point of being very. You know you're 16. Angsty. It was also. The 90. It was grunge. Grunge and. Gangster rap. So. A lot of emotions. A lot of feelings. I would probably. The two things I would say to this person would say. First. Is this gratitude.

[00:43:38] That is something that I wish I had. Learned and instilled in myself much earlier in life. Regardless of where I was going. I was happier. And I just. I think I would have been a better person. And then the other thing I would have said. To this younger version myself. Is to say. Be. Bold in your authenticity. Right. Don't hide who you are. In your voice. Because. I think one of the things that we do. When we're younger.

[00:44:08] Or we feel less. Certain about who we are. We allow other people's voices. To. Outweigh or. You know silence our own. And the thing is. When we allow that to happen. It's like. It's soul crushing right? Like when we have an opinion. Or we know we're right about something. Or we just want to communicate something. Or express it. When we don't do it. It really does. I feel like. Eat away a little tiny bit. And it's like. Over years and years. Compounding.

[00:44:37] That turns into. A lot of sadness. And I think that's what I would say. Be. Authentically bold. In who you are. And about afraid. So. If you see someone. And you're passing them. And you want to say just hello. Or smile. Frank in someone's day. Don't be afraid to do it. Right. And listen. This is also to say. Hey look. Don't be scared. I'm like. This isn't about asserting that your opinion is 100% right. But it is about asserting your opinion. Right. And not silence. Yeah.

[00:45:07] Okay. I love that. What would you say has been the hardest lesson. That you have had to learn in your life? Oh man. I. Gosh. Guys. I thought we were going to joke around. This is how we wind down. No. Just light conversation. Really. Yeah. So. I. I have just blacked it out. Damn. I got to switch to these questions, man. Yeah.

[00:45:37] This is a good one. The hardest thing that I learned from this is the question. Man. This is. I feel like there's something that I want to say. That's hidden behind the thing that I'm. That's like on the surface. I think the hardest lesson for me was to understand that like. Love. Because I. Because that has been my MO is this desire to say love. Right. But that love. Has to start. With me.

[00:46:07] Yeah. Right. And within me. I. I. I think that this woman. Or this person is going to be the thing that brings me all the love. I don't love myself. I don't have the capacity. To love that person in the way that they deserve. Yeah. Right. And so it's love. And I think a lot of my. Negative behaviors to my life. I think we're much driven. By a need for approval. Or a need. To. Receive love. Or. In.

[00:46:37] A need. That's like fearful. Losing love. And so. That would be it. It's the biggest lesson is that self love. Is really. It's like it all begins and ends there. I love that. I love that. All right. So my questions are a little bit on the crazy side. Yeah. The balance. It's a balance. So. If your anxiety. As long as I don't want that. If your anxiety had a theme song. What is it? And why? Either. Either. The Billy Joel.

[00:47:07] We need to start the fire. Or. What's the one. Is the. I know the one. The end of the world. It's the end. I don't know it. That is literally perfect. I'm stealing that as my anxiety. Just because both those songs are like. It's like. All of these things. It's like. It's exactly what anxiety is. It's right. It's like stacking all the things together. So that. Because we keep adding to it. And that. Oh God.

[00:47:35] And as much as I love like Billy Joel's song. I. You know what. Between us. The R.A.M. song is more of it. Because the tempo song also is very much. It feels like. So. My other question is. What's your spirit animal. Oh. My spirit animal. Is lion. Is lion. So. I have done a lot of psychedelic drugs. My life. I say that. Jokingly. But. Because I call them.

[00:48:05] They're actually. I consider them medicines. Right. And there are a lot of these journeys. And this is. Very related to the question about. The authenticity. Right. That being boldly authentic. My voice. Has always been something. Where I think I have. For whatever reason. Sort of. Temper. Right. My opinion. And whatever it is. And how I communicate. In a ceremony. I'm also concerned about me. I sat up one side. And there's like this lion. Wow.

[00:48:37] And I just started talking. And. And I was like. The lion. The lion. The lion. Mufasa came out. And then I started to say. It's. This is one of the things. No one's ever done this. Like. These medicines. That. There's like this. A chemical thing that's happening. But then there's also this great spiritual thing. And so. The spiritual part that was happening. I was like. In that moment. I was speaking. And then. Seeing this lion. And like the lion's ear.

[00:49:05] My voice got three registers deeper. And then. I just kept saying things. And then. So that night was a rare. For the rest of this ceremony. But. The lion would come out occasionally. And be like. We're going to get. This gun. Right? And at one point. I was. So rough. I was like. I can't do it. I was like. This is too. When's this going to end? And then this voice goes. It's okay. Breaks are out. Take break. The lion for sure. Appreciate.

[00:49:35] The lion. For most of its life. Especially the male lion. Doesn't really do a whole lot. Right? It's kind of chill. Right? But they're built in such a way. When it's time to fight and protect. Right? That's when that all comes out. And I think that's where I've. Gravitated towards this idea. To be very powerful. Without having. To use my power. Until it's absolutely necessary. Mm-hmm. And I think that's how I approach. The leadership side of it. It's like.

[00:50:04] In a group of people. You're going to lead. Right? People feel the sense of the leadership. It doesn't mean that I have to bring a hammer. Every single day. Right? I need to show where the. Team out. It's just like. You lead with your presence. And in the moments. When you have to show teeth. You show teeth. And so that's kind of. Love that. That was awesome. I love that. So. I'm just going to tell you. I went to chat GPT and asked. For the podcast. What our spirit animal is. And we're like. Either a bison.

[00:50:34] Or an otter. So the bison. Is. We face the storm. Instead of running from it. Mm-hmm. We are strong. But community centered. We're grounded in real. Bisons are great. Yeah. And we represent resilience. But the otter. Is kind of funny. Because it's playful. Laughs a lot. Survives through connection. And holds hands. So nobody floats away. And I. You know. I kind of see us. Those two. Um. Together.

[00:51:04] Mm-hmm. And this was such. A great conversation. How can our listeners. Find out more about you? Um. So. I have just a personal. It's just. Luke Kim. So we can all be friends now. Awesome. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Lou. Thank you so much for listening to this episode. I'm G-Rex. And I'm Dirty Skittles. Don't forget to subscribe. Rate and review this podcast. We'd love to listen to your feedback.

[00:51:33] We can't do this without you guys. It's okay to be not okay. Just make sure you're talking to someone. Bye. Bye.