Dominic Petty on Healing Relationship Trauma, Self-Acceptance, and Finding Inner Peace

[00:00:02] Hey there, listeners. Welcome to Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads, our podcast where we normalize conversations around mental health. That's right. I'm Dirty Skittles and alongside my amazing co-host, G-Rex, we'll hear your stories and tips from our incredible guests. Each episode, we deep dive into struggles and triumphs of mental health, offering practical advice and heartfelt support because no one should feel alone in their journey.

[00:00:31] Join us as we break the stigma and build a community of understanding and compassion. Tune in and let's start talking about the shit that goes on in our heads. Three, two, one. Welcome back to another episode of Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads. I'm here with the awesome Dirty Skittles and today we have an amazing guest, Dominic. Welcome to the podcast. Hi. Welcome. Thanks for having me. Yeah. I'm excited to learn about you, Dominic.

[00:01:02] What? So you're Miami. Miami. Is that your home base? So what I've tried to do is create a geographic independence for myself. So I live in Miami now. I was born in Chicago, lived several places. But I like to work and travel, as I say. So most of what I do is just on the phone. Sometimes video, sometimes not. I never need to be in a particular place. So I'm in Miami now, enjoying the heat and humidity.

[00:01:32] Was that like always the plan? No. I wish I could see this a master plan. I don't think there was. I think a plan came about as life evolved. And so at some point, I said, you know, I think I'd like to do my own thing. You know, figure out my own path. And it was actually during the pandemic. I can't say I was original. A lot of people went to what they call telework, remote work. So I did that.

[00:02:01] And actually during that, I transitioned from doing what I'm doing to like full time. And so I never planned to become a coach. But I was having a conversation with a friend of mine. And it was an adult friend, meaning like I met her later in life, not from like youth or like college days. And she was like, wow, you should be a coach. I'm like, whoopee. I didn't put any ingredients into it.

[00:02:29] And then I think two months later, she kind of cornered me. And also when just like grabbed you by the lapels, she says, she goes, hey, you know, I don't think you really understood what I meant when I said you should be a coach. She goes, listen, so I'm an executive. I'm at a senior position at a bank. I pay people to coach me. I've done that for years. It's been very helpful. And the conversations we've had have been extremely helpful. And you weren't even trying to coach me. But I really appreciate the insight. I think you have a knack for this.

[00:02:59] And all I really heard from that, it was how people pay me to talk. So I said, sure, let me look into it. I got certified. I went to it part-time. Eventually we came like full-time. So divine intervention, synchronicity. Turns out, I really do enjoy it. Oh, very cool. Have you sort of had that knack your whole life to just talk people? Well, it sounds like you coach people through things. Was that natural for you?

[00:03:27] Well, once I got to the coach training, I realized it was. So before I did that, so engineering undergrad, went back at my MBA, did management consulting. I worked in tech companies. So I was just the bright guy, point me at a big problem. And I would work on it, unravel it, and make things smooth. So most of that was me just focusing on things. I never really focused on people.

[00:03:57] And it just so happened, a lot of the path I was on, it was just, I was working, I guess, quote unquote, with high performers, type A's, people that had super high expectations of themselves, high achievers, that type thing. So the landscape was pretty similar. And so they'll say like a fish doesn't know it's wet. But I really didn't have an idea to say who I was with and working on this stuff. I just said, you know, it's clean.

[00:04:23] And then I got one position where I was managing people. And it was a different profile, shall we say, of the people on the team. And I said, wow, this is different. And then I was in a situation where I said, wow, I really, I'm really going to fail here because I need people to do certain things. And they're not doing them. And apparently me telling them to do it, and because I said so, it isn't working.

[00:04:49] So I had to, I think one way of saying it, I had to learn emotional intelligence. Another way of saying that is I realized that in order to lead well, what I had to do was take an interest in people and what was going on with them. What did you do for the weekend? Or how did your son do on the test? Or did your son make the football team? You know, that type thing. And then, you know, once there was rapport,

[00:05:20] people were much more receptive to say focusing on work. So that was really instructive, I must say. And I think that was very instrumental to the coaching because I think, you know, really good leader, manager, you're going to do a fair amount of coaching with your personnel as well. And I was just willing to get into a lot of different things, you know, work and non-work. And then eventually I got the coaching side of things. And I think I got more of the formal structure around it.

[00:05:49] So I wouldn't necessarily have always had like a knack for it. But I will say this. Yeah. I do a lot of relationship coaching. It's not the only stuff I do. But I would say, you know, all through from when people started to date, I would hear people talk about who they were dating. And I would just listen. And I go, and then I was thinking, I was really hesitant to say, but eventually I started speaking up. I said, and why are you with this person?

[00:06:20] The logic comes in. Yeah. Yeah. And so I guess, so roughly way back in the day before I had any idea of coaching, while I was in high school age, I'm just like, yeah, that just doesn't sound like great behavior for a person. And so now I have a whole different framework for it and different understandings, perspectives. So, but yeah, that was, I think that was the core of it. But, you know, it's funny.

[00:06:47] I've noticed a lot of times things that we really are excited about, we kind of get back to later on. So I would say this is kind of something that showed up in the teens. And then like, you know, here I am doing it at a different, kind of different level now. Yeah. That, I work with engineers. So when you said, and I'm like, well, like my whole brain shook a bit because I'm like, I mean, let me explain why.

[00:07:17] I find I gravitate towards engineers because they're very logical, but also there's like a no emotional, like fluffery to it. Like they just tend to cut through it all and tell it how it is. So I think that's very interesting to hear that was your background. Because I'm like, what, what, really? But I'm curious.

[00:07:38] So you, in your personal life, do you, are you able to apply that same logic to your relationships? I mean, I try. I'm not saying I'm particularly successful with it. So as I understand things, you know, rule number one, you know, you could be God's gift to coaching, you know, the top coach on the planet.

[00:08:02] And all that would mean is what it always means is like, you're not going to coach your partner. I'm not going to coach you. So, you know, I'll tell you here's as engineering goes, of course, at some point I talked to an astrologer, right? And the astrologer said, hey, Dominic, you know, you're the type of person who you got a lot of wisdom to share with people. But here's the thing.

[00:08:30] When you're at home or when you're with your partner or girlfriend, you need to wear a shirt. He kind of did the, he went with the hands, putting the shirt over the head. And like, and on your shirt, it needs to say this. He goes, I'm not kidding. I recommend this. The words, I don't know anything, need to be in the front of that. And whenever you want to, you feel that urge to speak up with your partner, you just look down at your shirt, you get that reminder. And he goes, I think silence will be your friend. You know?

[00:09:02] Oh, that was my favorite. I'm going to use that. No, silence will be your friend. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's, I think I read this the other day. It was like something like silence is, I'm butchering this, but silence, no, speech. Oh, speech is silver. Silence is gold. Hmm. Hmm. And it's amazing. It's, and I've shared this like tons of my clients.

[00:09:29] I said, you know, if what you're about to say, if it's not going to improve on silence, don't say it. Damn. Okay. Yeah. So it's, I think all the coaching that I've done in terms of like, say my own girlfriend, it's just informed me to give me better like self-awareness. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:10:21] So, you know, it's funny. Yeah. Yeah. That's, that is such an interesting, like career to me. I think. How do you take care of you? Like, is it, does it ever become overwhelming to hear like two people in a relationship and working through that, their stuff with them? I think I understand it, but could you be more specific? Like, like two people in relationships.

[00:10:44] So is it overwhelming when I'm with my girlfriend or is it overwhelming with when I'm working with clients, like working through their stuff? Working with clients. Like, are you ever just like, dude, this is like, I'm putting myself in that position where I'd be like, oh, just, just go the other way, guys. This isn't going to work. End the session. I'm super energized by this. You know, it's kind of, I can really feel like this is what I love doing. And it's interesting.

[00:11:11] A friend of mine, she does a different type of, say, modality working with people. And she loves that show. Love is blind. And she watches all the seasons. I watched like a bit of one season. I said, I think I got it. And she said, I can never do what you do. And I'm like, what are you talking about? You're watching relationships all the time. She goes, yeah, I'll watch it. It would kill me to talk about them. And I was like, oh, how interesting. No, I really enjoy it because the thing is, and this is kind of where the engineering mind comes in.

[00:11:40] It's like, I guess I just like a good puzzle. And so, you know, when people are talking, I actually do think people are the most fascinating puzzle on this planet. It's just like, and, you know, I'm working with like really brilliant people. I mean, like they're doing their thing in the world, crushing it. And yet, there's this thing that, you know, they're at their wit's end.

[00:12:05] And even though coaching is very well known, I'm always very grateful that anyone like wants to actually work with me. Because wow, what a show of humility. Just, you know, to ask someone else, another human being to help you with something. Especially when you're like maybe just doing so well in life in all these like other respects. So, and yeah, and then they bring me their puzzle and I'm listening and I'm always looking for, so what's, how did they get here?

[00:12:35] And then what's the way out? And so, in my head, a lot of times, I join people in some type of maze, some labyrinth that they built. And they have no idea how to get out of it. And so, from talking to them, I relatively quickly figure it out. And then I have to encourage them to take steps in the right direction to lead.

[00:13:01] And in this, you know, metaphor, I can't just shine a light and say, walk this way. I can't just take them by the hand and just follow me. Like, they have to walk out. And so, I'm just there to ask questions and give them things to think about that equate to them making those steps out of there. And so, it's a challenge to figure out what is this labyrinth.

[00:13:27] And it's also a challenge to figure out how do I get them to take the steps that I really think would be helpful to them. Without doing things are completely not productive, which would be saying, you should stop doing this. You should start doing that. It's like, you know, you can tell me how successful you have been. You know, telling people what to do and what the results of that have been. You know, I've never been successful with it.

[00:13:53] But what I find is like really great on the coaching side of things, I'm in a different space with people. So, I have learned with non-clients. Believe it or not, maybe it's not coming across here, I can be very quiet. Super silent. No matter what I see or hear or I'm thinking and whatever. Because I'm just thinking, yeah, life is life. You know, we're on the path. From us, you know, we're all walking each other home and stuff.

[00:14:21] But if someone's asking me, you know, particularly if someone's asking and paying me, then I'm like, you know, rubbing my hands together. I'm like, oh goody, let's do this. Because they, all of my clients come in with a long framing for the relationship. They think they're there to, you know, pick it. You know, to be happy, to be in love, to be with their soulmate, to share their life with someone else, blah, blah, blah.

[00:14:51] And I throw all that out. I said, that's not why you're here. You know, it's like you go to university for an education. You get in relationship to help in your awakening. And that awakening said in a way, it's just to learn how to get rid of the stuff that you don't need that's holding you back in your life. And how to become more of your true self, your integrated self. It's where you have the light and the dark,

[00:15:20] your strengths and your shadows all put together. And you're using all of your abilities and essence moving forward. And you have awareness of, say, the wrong that you can do, but you're choosing the good. And so I just tell them, yeah, this is just another educational container.

[00:15:47] And if you're up for that, then you'll get through this easily. But if you insist that the only way to do this is for the other person to change, then, yeah, then we're not going to go anywhere. Yeah.

[00:16:15] No, that's really interesting how you said it, because before you literally were like, yeah, I'm in this labyrinth with them. I was thinking, oh, yeah, I can. I could see how that challenge, that puzzle to solve is there. Like, I'm similar in that regard. I just don't think I have the patience to figure out how to get them through the labyrinth. So, wow, kudos to you, because I feel like that takes a lot of patience. Yeah, it can. But I can really say I'm built for this.

[00:16:45] Mm-hmm. And by that, I mean, most people when they're speaking, I think what makes it kind of challenging for them are in their own life is that they're making parts of themselves wrong. And I don't see that. Like, I really don't see anything wrong with my clients in front of me. I said, you're just doing what you're doing. And it's just like, if this is your goal, because you tell me what they want, if this is your goal, this doing this will help get you there.

[00:17:13] And doing this will take you further away from getting there or prevent you from getting there. So I feel it's more like tuning or turning dials. And then on the other side of it, so I think the reason I had the patience for it is, so what shows up as they start to make their way out of the maze? I mean, a lot more self-acceptance for them, a lot more happiness, even though that's not necessarily what we're trying to do,

[00:17:41] and a lot more love, essentially. And, you know, I could go on forever and ever and talk about love. I think, you know, we're all here really to get our PhD and that to understand it from every possible angle. So a lot more of that shows up. And it's just better lives. I mean, to me, what I feel is I'm making the planet more pleasant for all of us. Definitely myself. But for all of us, because, you know, especially if I'm working with a couple and they have children,

[00:18:12] and then, you know, like maybe they're talking about divorce and stuff. I'm like, oh my goodness, that just sounds so painful and so expensive. So expensive. And I'm just like, yeah, we don't have to do all that. Yeah. Like, we just figure it out. And so that really keeps me going. And it's like, yeah, I just feel like I'm able to do what I love doing, like, you know, multiple times a day with different people. So, yeah. That's cool. It feels fun. That's cool.

[00:18:42] Yeah. You must definitely be built for it. And your passion for it comes across. Like, just hearing you talk, you sound like, like, I'm a little bit envious that you're doing what you love. You know what I mean? Like, you're, that's what's filling your day. Like, that's pretty cool. How do you, how do you stay so grounded? Like, you personally? Because you sound very calm. Yeah. Well, I'm built for it. You know, I'll just say this because, you know, part of it is,

[00:19:11] so let's just say at one point in time, I thought astrology was for idiots. And then, somebody shared something with me about something. And I just looked there and said, why did you say that? And she goes, well, I mean, that's what your chart says. And I go, yeah, but, I mean, you couldn't possibly have known that about me. It was like spot on.

[00:19:40] And she goes, well, I mean, anyone could know this about you by just pulling up this information. She goes, that's in your chart. And I said, well, wait a second. If something like that can provide, like, instant insight, I'm curious. So, to make a long story short, I have what you call a stellium. And so, that is, I mean, I think it's a concentration of more than two planets in a house.

[00:20:10] So, you know, signs, planet houses, you know, it quickly gets to, what's this guy talking about? So, it just means, I'll say I have a strong concentration of energy in this eighth house, which is all about everything that's hidden. And so, it's all about the subconscious. It's all about shadow. It's even like esoteric and occult type stuff.

[00:20:35] And so, it's the type of stuff that might be taboo for, like, a lot of people. But for whatever reason, I'm just like, yeah, this is an interesting part of the world. And I know when I talk to people, this was way before I started coaching, I would see people get into certain snafus. And they would be flummoxed, like, how did I get here? I'm like, you really don't know? And I'm like, no. And I'm like, because you did this and this is your outlook. This is your thoughts.

[00:21:02] I mean, beliefs lead to actions, lead to results. That's how it happens. But that was always my mental framework. So, when you ask, how do I stay so grounded? It's like, honestly, I couldn't be any other way. You're like, I'm built this way. This is how I'm built. Yeah. This is old. Got it. It's kind of, it's funny. It's like, if a tank could talk, you'd ask it, well, how are you so heavy?

[00:21:32] It's like, I'm a tank. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Oh, that's so funny. This might be a really silly question, but like, in your, in the line of work that you do, are there similarities between these stories, like these relationships? Is there something that, or a theme, I guess, that continues to pop out as like a pattern? For sure.

[00:21:58] I would say whether people come to me for relationship coaching or where they're coming for, you know, career coaching, you know, they want to make more money. They want to get a promotion. You know, they want to, you know, become an entrepreneur. You know, they want to get to like C-suite or something. It really is, I mean, I think what I would say, all my clients are exhibiting a need for more self-acceptance. Self-acceptance, self-compassion, that type of thing.

[00:22:26] Because, you know, I'm actually not talking to everyone out there. And so you could say it's high performance coaching or it's for like, you know, high achievers, entrepreneurs, startup people. And so these people are driven. But the thing is, they're all pretty much using the same fuel, which is insecurity.

[00:22:51] And so, you know, I guess if we use analogy of like clean energy versus like dirty energy, you know, they're burning coal. So it works. But over time, you know, there's a lot of other consequences that come with it. Such as they will torch relationships that they have with their parents or their siblings or their management team or investors or like coworkers.

[00:23:20] They'll get a certain reputation at work that's not helpful to them. They won't get the movement that they want in terms of promotion or they won't get investment. And a lot of feelings of like anxiety, sadness, depression, frustration. And so, you know, they're, to me, they're essentially what those monks used to do, like self-flagellation. You know, they have like kind of like a whip. Right.

[00:23:49] So they're just, you know, whipping themselves constantly. And I mean, and they're getting results. But usually we start linking up when it's like they can't, they need to go to another gear and they don't realize it. It's like they're redlining in like first or second. And like, you know, we need like third or fourth or something, the fifth gear. And so it's like, yeah, we got to switch. We shift.

[00:24:18] So that's the thing. They typically see the pattern. It's insecurity and they have run out of options. Like they are flummoxed. They don't know what to do next. And again, you know, for me, this is super easy. And it's kind of ironic, but I'm actually the best for people who are at their worst.

[00:24:46] It's like, think of like on a scale of one to 10, you know, like 10 being the best, you know, one being the worst. It's like, well, people are like one, two or three. I got you. Because to me, like what you need to do is so obvious. At that level, it's like we can make a quick change. But it's in their blind spot. They can't see it. It's just, there's like a beacon on it for me.

[00:25:16] So there is quick change. And as things get better, you know, we'll go for more subtle things. So like the longer a client works for me, it's just think about it goes from, I guess, you know, if you're talking about cleaning a car, it's like, it goes from just spraying the outside with the hose to if you want, we can actually do the very fine detailing with the, what the Q-tips,

[00:25:43] the cotton balls and the steam cleaners and all the other stuff. And because as people get successes, a lot of my clients, not all, but they're like, oh, wow, I didn't realize this whole world existed. Like, you know, how deep does this go? And I'm like, I mean, it goes as deep as you want to. So there's no end to it. It's just, it's a matter of how deep do you want to go into yourself?

[00:26:14] And sometimes there's competing priorities, you know, people, they want more, say, physical health, or they want to spend more time with their children, that type thing. So, you know, I optimize what they're interested in. But if they tend to have more time, then yeah, we can just keep going on because, you know, the way I see it, there's for everyone, there's an entire universe inside of each of us to explore and get to know.

[00:26:40] And so if we keep on that path, we'll just learn more and more. And that cleaning will become deeper and deeper. This is such an interesting topic for me because it goes, it kind of goes back to like mindset, right? Like changing your mindset and like even like for conversations. Because I've worked on like both sides, right? I've had to talk to customers as support reps.

[00:27:07] I've had to talk to customers and I have to talk to developers. Each one of those conversations goes differently. I can ask them the same question, all three of them the same question. And everybody's going to answer it differently because of where their mindset's at, right? And I think that I'm a lot with like dirty skills.

[00:27:27] Like I would much rather have a deep discussion with a developer because they're way more analytical and they keep the emotion out of it. Whereas if you talk to somebody like that's in customer support or if you talk to a customer, their emotions are all over the place, right? Like there are days where I do not need to know about everything in your life, okay? I asked you a question, just come back with that answer.

[00:27:58] But it goes back to like where their mindset is and how they value that time. And I think it's really important that like people understand how people's minds work. Yeah. And I don't think there's enough studies into that right now, but it's really important. Yeah.

[00:28:19] I mean, it's so important and, you know, it's interesting because I, you know, as I said, like I don't work with everyone. So like I'm very much, I'm very much a head person, very much a mental person. And, you know, so many times in my life I've heard people say, oh, you know, you need to be more in your heart and stuff. Until I got to the point, I was like, tell you the next person that tells me I need to be in my heart, I'm going to end them.

[00:28:50] That's an immediate throat punch. Yeah, I get it. Yeah. Yeah. And I do think what I have learned in life is to, to have moved, you know, from a focus of having my energy, say all in the mental sphere to, to say the emotional space or the heart space. So I've learned to say like navigate it.

[00:29:14] And so, you know, not to be corny, I didn't come up with this, but, you know, a lot of quote unquote, the spiritual people will say, you know, the longest journey in the world is to move from the head to the heart. And I'm like, oh, that's so nice. But it's like, yeah, I mean, they do have a point, particularly in the Western world. You know, we just in general, we're just more, more mental. And so I look at say the emotional place. Yeah, I think it is. It's messy.

[00:29:42] I don't think there's not nearly as much order and structure there, but I do find it a very data rich place. And so I, I love data. And so when people are very emotional, I'd say it's like, Ooh, it's like the data stream just like it's flowing. And I just try to like, you know, capture as much of that as I can. And I'm capturing it and decoding and analyzing it.

[00:30:10] And what I realized for my clients that say are more emotional, they're not. They're just in their emotion. And so at some point, you know, I share with them, I said, like, listen, I will always tell you the same thing. When you have emotions, like, you know, you want to feel them as deeply as possible, dive into them, like as you would dive into a swimming pool, soak it all up and everything else and process them.

[00:30:37] Meaning really try to see what are the underlying stories that are producing those emotions and spend as much time as you need to. And the effort you want to do is return the baseline. And so the baseline, and people don't have this understanding. Everyone's baseline is the same. Like within us, our core is one of peace and calmness.

[00:31:03] So anytime we are not that, it just means we're off in some place where we are, we've been taken. And we might be like adrift or washing all our emotions. And so, you know, people will say, you know, you've heard this thing, be present or it's good to be present or that type of thing. Well, if you want to be present, it's not a passive thing. To be present, it's actually a very active thing.

[00:31:30] And that means to be present is not to go into your story, not to go into your perspectives that produce those emotions. It's to just be with what you're experiencing without having an objection to it. And so like, you know, someone rear-ended me. Stay here. Stay here. It's not like he's a jerk or my life is ruined or like people are so awful.

[00:31:59] It's just like, no, just stay here. It says, I've been rear-ended. I need to speak to the person behind me. We need to exchange information when it's convenient. I need to get my car fixed. That's it. That's really all that's happening. So my clients are like very emotional. Like some people, they're so emotional.

[00:32:24] We'll never work together because they're more attached to being in their emotions than they are to resolving what they're experiencing. And so, but the people are interested in resolving. I help them say, yeah, just stay here. Process emotion. So a lot of people, they don't know that they've been caught up by their emotions. They can't identify what their emotion is. And then they don't know how to process it. They don't even know what that is.

[00:32:51] And they have no idea that there is an inner core, like a baseline that they get to return to, like a natural state. Because most of their life, they've never been in it. You know, their whole life. They've been an anxious person. Or they've been an introverted person. Or they've been an angry person or something. They say, and I'm angry. Or like, I'm shy. Or like, I just have a lot of fear. I have a lot of shame. And I say, well, no.

[00:33:19] You have an emotional state that you're in that is not you. It's just you're experiencing your emotions. So the old statements, right? You have emotions. You are not your emotions. Like, you have thoughts. You are not your thoughts. That type of thing. So in the background, I'm working with tons and tons of frameworks. And frameworks are just another way of saying a lot of wisdom. And so I'm just bringing that to people.

[00:33:47] And I'm saying, you know, your mind works like this. And, you know, as you said, you know, people don't understand their mind. I understand minds really well. And so I say, your mind works like this or is working like this. And for the change you want, you'll need to change your mind to work like this. So, you know, the funny thing is, if people would do it, the fix for a lot of people would just be meditating. Yeah. You know, and it would, you know, a little bit is better than nothing.

[00:34:17] So five minutes a day is way better than zero minutes a day. But if we're talking about getting real change, I do want you to bump it up to an hour. I could think. But just consistency more than like intensity or like, you know, trying to like, you know, win some like record with it. But most of my clients, you know, I'll bring that up as an option. I'd say less than 20% actually do that.

[00:34:45] And so I say, okay, well, we'll just do other things. Because I have to meet them where they're at. Like the last thing I want to do is give them an experience where it's another place where they can tell. And so for my clients who want to like read books or articles or see videos or listen to podcasts, I've got that for them. For my clients that say like, I don't have any time. Like I don't even really have the time that I spend talking to you.

[00:35:13] So like, you know, we'll talk once a week and that's it. Got nothing else. I say, okay, well, I can work with that too. But it's like anything. It's very specific to like working out. In the sense of how you get in better shape is just consistency. You just find a routine. It doesn't necessarily matter like a particular routine, but you find a routine that has some level of effectiveness and you just stay consistent with it. That's it. And you do it over time.

[00:35:41] And so it's like, it's not like, you know, one day is not going to be enough. One month's not going to be enough. But if you just keep showing up, you'll get that. And so I'm able to dial in for my clients like what's going to work for them. And then I just try to get them focused on the consistency of it. And then once they hit the consistency, that really sets the stage for us to go deeper and deeper

[00:36:06] because every time we talk, I'm looking for them to tell me, okay, what's working? What's not working? And what would be better? And so they can tell me that and base that information. I'd say, okay, these are my thoughts. Let me share it with you as coaches do. I ask a lot of questions. It's really cool. It's been so interesting.

[00:36:36] I find you very fascinating. I probably would pick your brain for hours just because I think it's so different, but it's like so refreshing. So I enjoy listening to you talk. I have two questions for you.

[00:37:02] If you can go back to a younger version of yourself to give that younger version some advice, what would you say? And how old are you when you go back? Wow. Great question. See, you stumped him. Way to go, bud. Got one under my belt today. Yeah. And so what would I go back to? I also feel like a few options. You know, it's funny, but this is purely for superficial reasons.

[00:37:32] Do it. I would go back to myself as young as he could be to understand. And what I'm going to say is just, I would say, I'll start working out. Like eat right and start working out. Mm-hmm. Because I would have, it's so shallow, I'm sorry. But I would have wanted to enjoy pretty privilege earlier. I love that though. I love the honesty.

[00:38:02] Yeah. Because at some point I got abs, but it was in my 20s. And... Later than you wanted. Well, I just never thought about it. And then so, and then I thought about it, I focused on it, and I got abs. And wow, was the world different. You know, it is probably better that it didn't happen earlier because I think my entire life trajectory like could have changed.

[00:38:28] So, you know, with great power comes great responsibility. So I couldn't have handled that in my team. I'll say that for sure. Self-awareness. Self-awareness. Yeah. Okay. What would you say has been the hardest lesson that you've had to learn in your life so far? Shut up. No, not you. Me. Yeah. To learn. Yeah. It's just, it's... You don't have to share everything you know. Mm-hmm.

[00:39:00] I like that. I like that a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Because I thought at some point, you know, I get insight. I'm like, wow, people want to know this. And so it took me a while to understand. No, people don't want to know. So, you know, if I were to observe the world, I'd be somewhat cynical about it, which I don't want to be and choose to be.

[00:39:28] But if I were, I would say, wow, one, I think one of the main activities we do down here is gaslight each other. Mm-hmm. So, at some point, I realized that I would share things that I thought was the truth or accurate or whatever. Mm-hmm.

[00:39:59] It's, yeah, I would just tell myself, yeah, just, hey, bud. Or the lesson learned is just, yeah, you, sometimes your greatest contribution is just being quiet. Or you can go back to one of these methods. They say, you know, seek first to understand, then to be understood. And so it's just stay curious, you know, just let people talk. You know, whatever they have to say, like, it doesn't matter because all I'm hearing is their perspective.

[00:40:29] I'm hearing their truth, which is, it's not like new things are being created. Right. So, like, it's actually, I'm only going to get smarter by just listening. And I'm going to be more informed. And it's amazing. I would add to that. Most people don't really have someone in their life that actually listens to them. Mm-hmm. And so, like, I'm an extremely good listener. I haven't demonstrated that on this podcast, but, like, I assure you, I'm a good listener. I love that.

[00:40:58] These are such great answers. All right. Mine shouldn't be so hard, but they might be because I've been tripping people up all day. If your anxiety had a theme song, what is it and why? Ooh. I mean, that is tough. I really don't know any music. Like, I find it really challenging. I don't know what happened, but people know all these different songs, and, like, I don't know any of them. A client of mine said, you're going to go out and do karaoke last night. And he asked me, like, what should I sing?

[00:41:27] And I started mentioning some things, and he grew silent and said, okay, I now know what I shouldn't come to you for. So I think the best thing I could do is just, you know, make up something that doesn't exist. So if my anxiety had a theme song, I think it would be people, like, things would be so much better if people just knew.

[00:41:57] Yeah. And so I did that. I made that up. But that would kind of be the theme of it. Yeah. I love that. So what is your favorite word? It's funny. I can tell you my favorite emoji. I don't know if you feel the word. My favorite word. I'm curious about your emoji. Yeah, I'm curious about the emoji, too. The emoji, it's the one where, you know, it's like the thinking one, like, the fingers,

[00:42:27] like, on the chin or something. I text that to my clients all the time. They'll text me something. I'll just, like, put the thinking on, like, I don't get it. Like, go deeper, you know? I guess the word, I would say boo. I just find it really playful. Or maybe it's like boo and love. Because I had a friend, I have a friend, and she would always say, hey, love.

[00:42:55] And I said, I do not love her. That's why you call me love. This is awkward and stuff. But she always kept using it. And so now I use it with people. You know, I was like, hey, love, how are you doing? How are you, love? Or boo is another word I use. So, you know, use it with a girlfriend, but also use it not with a girlfriend. Boo, what's up? Boo, how are you doing? You know, it's just kind of a term of endearment, affection. I find it playful. And I just think it keeps a nice energy between me and other people.

[00:43:26] And what's your least favorite word? Well, it's simultaneously my most favorite word to say. And it's my least favorite word to hear. No. Love saying no. I don't love hearing it. I love that. And how can our listeners find you?

[00:43:56] Ah, this should be more streamlined. It isn't. So, so the quickest way is just Dominic, D-O-M-I-N-I-C at innerpeaceadvisor.com. So just email me. And if you're a social media person, you can go to Inner Peace Advisor on Instagram and you can send me a DM there. Very cool. This has been such a great episode. Thank you.

[00:44:26] I totally needed this. Thank you. Thank you. I've enjoyed myself tremendously as well. Both of you are fantastic. Thank you for your time. Oh, thanks. See, look at us. Look at us. We're getting big time. Thank you so much, Dominic. I really appreciate your time and I hope you have a really great weekend. Thank you. Thank you. You as well. All right, guys. Well, Skittles, I'll see you in about 15 minutes. Bye, guys. It was nice meeting you.

[00:44:56] Have a good rest of your weekend. Bye. Take care. Bye. Bye. Hi, all. Thank you so much for listening to this episode. I'm G-Rex. And I'm Dirty Skittles. Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review this podcast. We'd love to listen to your feedback. We can't do this without you guys. It's okay to be not okay.

[00:45:24] Just make sure you're talking to someone.

[00:46:05] If you like the show, please take a moment to rate, review, and subscribe. It really does help the show to grow. Thank you for listening.